Drastic change and secret blessings

Sometimes things happen in your life that are blessings in disguise, and I like to call these secret blessings. After Jason and I were married, I was looking for a job in SLC and felt strongly impressed to accept a job offer at Orange Legal Technologies. My job was to communicate with lawyers and paralegals from over 100 law firms in SLC. I looked at this job as a HUGE blessing. and it was, just not for the reasons I thought. I was going to be able to build a network of contacts in the legal field so when I finished school to be a paralegal, I would easily be able to find a job. I have done well as this company, have been promoted and looked at as a problem solving employee by the managing attorney, and the owner himself. This job has been a blessing, it has opened my eyes to the fact that I DO NOT want to work in the legal field. I work with over a 100 law firms, all of which are high stress environments, long hours, boring tedious protocols and little satisfaction. I love law, I love that it can help people, but lets face it, unless you are working for the attorney general and prosecuting sex offenders, its not that great. I love my job, and I am so grateful for it. I am grateful that I was able to realize I wouldn't like that career, before actually getting into it. Not many people get that chance, and I know a lot who wish they would've. I am grateful for secret blessings from my savior.
What am I going to do now you ask? I still want to go to school, as late as it may be and as old as I may be, its important to me. So if I am not going into law, what do I want to do?? simple. I want to get my degree to be a Fitness Technician, or in other words, a personal trainer. I can also get a certification in yoga and be able to teach yoga and pilates classes. Fitness and health are things I am very passionate about and things that will never bore me. Having been overweight, and feeling low about myself, I feel I would be able to relate to people better than someone who hasn't been overweight and doesn't know what they are feeling. I am excited about this new path I have decided to take and if you would have asked me when I was a junior in high school if I could ever see myself as a personal trainer I would have laughed in your face, and then cried. I have lost 30 lbs and there is nothing like experience to teach you about being healthy. I am excited to start this new journey and who knows, things may change, but for now, this is my start.

Life with the powells is good and busy! Jason and I have been running around like chickens for a while and I need a chance to breathe! we spent the weekend in Cedar city which was awesome! Our good friends Ben and Ashley live there and we spent the weekend doing fun random things. I got to see my great friend Whitney! who I have not seen since high school! We gathered at Maggie Moos ice cream, I had a delicious smoothie. Interesting fact, Whitney and I went to high school together in at Layton High and graduated 2005. We then BOTH married guys who both graduated from Murray High in the same year! weird I know. So it was fun to see them, they are moving up here so hopefully we will see more of them! Later that night Benash(Ben and Ashley) and us went star gazing and it was nice to be able to actually see the stars. The next day was a day I will NEVER forget. We ventured out to Zions Caynon where I did my very very firstest hike ever. monumential moment in my life to say the least. We did Angels Landing which is a 5 mile hike. It was an accomplishment for me to say the least. If you know me, you know that I am not much of a nature person, but if you know my husband you know that he is a nature person, so it makes for intersting outings. He did the hike thinking how beautiful and lovely the scenery was, while I was looking at the hike as a physical exercise type activity. I couldn't care less about nature. lol. The mountain in the background is as tall as the one I climb. :-)
As for the rest of our life, we returned to SLC, to work and the various other activities that occupy our time and thoughts. It was Jasons birthday this week, he turned 24! I got him a few shirts and some rather expensive shoes, which he will return and get the ones he really wanted lol. We went out to dinner with his parents and Justin and Brittnie that night to Texas Roadhouse, which I still think is overrated. Also on his birthday we made a new addition to our little family! we bought a 2007 Honda Accord for me and I love it!!! Her name is Lola. the picture isnt our exact car, but it is EXACTLY what it looks like. We got an Incredible deal on this car because the owners are adopting their 3rd kid and needed to sell it fast. we paid for this 2007 what people are paying at dealerships for 2003 Civics. It was sort of an impulse buy, but we were planning on buying a new car for me anyway. I love it! We are having it detailed on saturday while Jason and I clean our apartment cause....WE'RE MOVING!! We got out of our lease and are moving to a much nicer apartment complex which we also got a good deal on. the apartment we are normally in rents for 910$ and we are paying 710$. It is in the heart of sugarhouse which is 5 miles to both of our works. Because we are moving closer to work we are saving 45$ on our insurance! YAY! I am not excited about the actual moving part, but I am excited to be out of this complex and into a MUCH nicer one.
So thats our little update. hope everyone is having a great spring/summer so far! YAY for warm weather!

My watch!

So this weekend Jason and I ventured down to Cedar City to hang out with some friends. While we were there I did a craft project! yay!! I wanted to buy some of those interchangable watch bead bands, but then my husband reminded me that I could probably make them myself! and I did! Went to the store, got the supplies and got busy on it this morning. It was a little tedious but it was quick! I got a box of probably 200 brown cream and tan beads, my watch face(which was the most exspensive part at 10.95), the claws and the string thing. I found the instructions online and they were really easy. I love my watch! I will post more about our trip later but for now I was pretty excited about my watch!

My name is Kati and I am a scaredaholic.

Alright for me, this post is huge. I have never admitted this to anyone except my husband before but now I think it is time. I am terrified of pretty much everything. You give me a life situation and I will tell you what scares me about it.

Driving to the store- I am scared of getting in an accident or hitting a pedestrian. driving to my moms- I am scared of going under the overpasses on the freeway cause I think they will buckle. Going to the bathroom- I am scared a snake or spider will come up from the toilet(dumb, I know). After my husband leaves for work- I am scared someone will break into the apartment. coming home from work- I am scared someone has already broken in and is waiting in the apartment. Going camping- I am afraid of a bear eating me at night. going 4-wheeling- I am afraid of it tipping over and killing me. going tubing- I am afraid of losing control and drowning( I am also afraid of drowning in general). going anywhere- I am afraid of someone trying to steal my purse. Horses- I am scared they will realize they can step on me and they will. having kids- I am scared my baby won't be healthy and it will have something wrong with it and as awful as it sounds, I don't know if I could handle that. Also with kids- I am scared of my baby dying from SIDS, also I am scared I will miscarry and never get over it. Buying a house- I am scared both of us with lose our jobs. Going across train tracks- I am scared our car will get stuck on the tracks and a train will kill us. Elevators- I am scared the wires will rust and break plummeting myself to my death. And these aren't just in-the-back-of-my-mind fears, these are constantly-on-my-mind-aware-leary of fears.

There are so many more, these are just the main ones. I know that everyone has their worries and concerns in life, but mine are down right paralyzing fears. It has gotten to the point that I can't sleep at night, or that I have to take sleep aids to be able to sleep. On tuesday there was a home invasion at my apartment complex and it made things so much worse. I was scared to come home, I was sweating and nervous in the car on my way home because I did not want to be alone at my apartment. Because of the recent events Jason and I are doing EVERYTHING we can to get out of our lease and be able to move. I know moving will help, but it will not take away my fears.

So I have decided to go to therapy.

There were a lot of things that happened to me in my childhood that I thought I had worked through, but I can't help but think they have something to do with my fears today.

So today is the day. I have my first appointment today after work, I am really nervous and could use some support. I don't quite remember when I started to be so scared, I want to say it was around when I was 20. I used to LOVE everything about life. I used to enjoy camping and people, and now I dread those things. I want to enjoy life again like I once did. I want to be able to go camping and not thank god every morning that a bear didn't eat me(seriously, I do that). So I hope today is the first step towards change. A better way, a better life.

It upsets me that going to therapy is looked down upon in this society, or looked at as a weakness. There is no shame in trying to better and improve your life. I am not ashamed or even scared to tell you that I am going to therapy. I would love and appreciate your support, but I do not need it.

WISH ME LUCK!

update: WE GOT OUT OF OUR LEASE!!!! we are moving out on the 25th of May!

The sweet life of Kati and Jason

I find myself updating this blog every monday, either because I am bored at work on a monday, or we had an eventful weekend, either way, its updated! Everything in the Powell residence is going quite smoothly, no major catastrophes yet. But....
Jason and I have decided to consider moving to...TEXAS!!! Buying a house here in Utah just isnt working out, and it seems in the back of our minds(or the spirits promptings) that we aren't supposed to buy here. Jason absolutely loves texas, he served his mission there and has always wanted to go back to visit so we thought, why not go back to stay?! The housing market is so terrible there, a house here in utah that would cost 500K, in texas is under 200K. We could move there, buy a way nice house, live comfortably and I wouldn't have to work at all. I probably would cause I would get bored though! I would love to live outside Utah before our family gets older. I think when our oldest kid turns 6 it would be time to move back to Utah to settle down. But for now, an adventure it is for us!! We haven't made a decision yet, it largely depends on if he can get transferred. I will of course update you when new information becomes available!
Jason and I are planning 2 trips this year, hopefully, and we are very excited! Our friends Ben and Ashley live in Cedar city so we don't see them much, we see all of our other friends a bunch, so I was feeling like we need to make a visit to Cedar! so Ashley and I concocted a plan to go to VEGAS! It will be really fun, I am excited to ride the New York New York roller coaster again. Its also Ashley's birthday so I am making something special for her ;-) Then we are kind of planning a trip to Texas this fall to visit Jason's mission! We are going with Ben and Ashley( Jason and Ben were mission companions in the MTC) and are staying for a week. Jason used to talk about his mission all the time so it will be nice to put faces to the names. that is right around the time we are wanting to buy a house so it might not happen in the fall for us but we will see!
Other than that all is well and normal in our lives. Jason is working 7-7 these days while I am still 830-5 so I am all alone when I get home but it leaves me workout time and I know Jason loves his career so for now it works for us. The weather is going to 76 this saturday so you know what that means for us right? GOLF! We are planning on going golfing with my family and then going back to their house for sloppy joes! Oh I could not be more excited. Jason has gone golfing a lot and I haven't gone in almost a month! ah! wish me luck and have a great week!!