To be or not to be...

THAT WAS IT!!!!!

I came into this general conference knowing there was something specific I needed to hear. I accidentally fell asleep during saturday mornings session, I was afraid I had missed what I needed to hear, listened to Saturday afternoons, nothing spoke to me, listened Sunday morning thinking come on! where is my message!! speak to me! Then Sunday afternoons session was it!

To be or not to be.

Lynn Robbin's talk was it. It was EXACTLY what I have been searching for this entire pregnancy. I have been so worried at how to raise children, boys specifically, and his talk has settled all my concerns and fears. It makes my eyes water just thinking at how perfect his talk was.

The idea and thought behind the talk was there are things you do, and things you are. You can take your spouse on a date, and check it off the list cause its something you do, but you cant check being a good wife off your list, cause its something you have to BE. I loved how much he directed it to parenting, teaching children thats its not what you do, its why you do it. Praising children for WHY they have done good, instead of just praising the act of doing good. I seriously can not convey the message to you as well as he does, so seriously, when the Ensign comes out, or the the texts of the talks is released on thursday, read it. You will not regret and it applies to everything, not just parenting.

That was it.

That talk, was all I needed.

I am now 110% ready to have this child.

I feel honored, blessed, ready and so grateful for what is about to happen.

I really did need this conference, so I am grateful for the faith I have been able to have in the Lord's oh so perfect timing. I see now, why I needed to be patient, and I love when I get to see the reason for why something is the way it is.

I love this gospel.

I love my Heavenly Father.

I know, that everything is done in the Lord's timing, for a very very, good reason.

38 weeks

"The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them."

that is the thought for the week that is currently driving my thoughts and focus for the week.

Henry is estimated to already be 8 lbs. I really hope he doesn't get bigger! :)

Patience is a virtue

"Patience doesn't mean you just wait around. Patience is to keep working while trusting in the Lord's timing."

my little sister is on her mission in Florida and her message to us for this week was about patience. I am SURE she knew I was getting impatient about delivering, so it was directed at me, but it was for sure something that struck me as inspirational right now. I really have just been waiting around, and even more, trying to push the Lord's timing.

I am getting impatient, but I know that everything is done in the Lord's timing. It doesn't matter how much it makes sense to me for the baby to come now, or how everything points to him coming soon, if its not the Lord's will, there is no changing that. Further more, I wouldn't want to change it. I know his timing is the way it is, because that is for the best.

The other part of the thought was to continue working while trusting in the Lord's timing. If I do say so myself, I have done fabulous at getting ready for the baby to come. My house is nearly ready, his nursery is totally ready, and I have been working hard to make sure everything is ready. There is still more I can do, so that is what I will do, while I trust in the timing. No more bouncing on yoga balls, eating spicy food, swinging on swings or labor inducing massages. It really is a waste of time when you realize you aren't in control no matter how much you want to be.

I KNEW when I got pregnant that my biggest obstacle was going to be my patience, because I have NONE. I knew it was something I desperately wanted to learn, especially in becoming a parent, you have to be patient. So while I lost sight of it the last couple weeks, I am going to refocus my energy on enjoying the small moments, and absorbing all I can about what it means to be patient. Again, if I do say so myself, through the majority of the pregnancy I have been pretty good about being patient, and having my cats has definitely taught me some patience.

I am grateful for these moments when I am brought back to spiritual reality about what is truly important. :)

Until next time!

Enter the uncomfortable phase

So this last weekend I was on bedrest again, after some preterm labor contractions. I went to the hospital, they stopped them, I went home, on bedrest, Superbowl at home, end of story. :)

I am in my 33rd week of pregnancy, and am finally entering the 24/7 uncomfortable stage. My back is always aching(effing car accident), and the worst is the sleeping. I never knew sleeping could be so painful. I have to sleep on my side, sleeping on my back is too uncomfortable, but after an hour on one side, that hip, thigh, is KILLING me. It gets so sore and I have to flip over, no easy task itself, and then after an hour on that side its the same thing. And the soreness does not subside after an hours rest, so when I have to flip back over, it is still kind of painful.

This is my as of yesterday:

I feel like pictures just aren't showing my hugeness enough. sorry.

Well we are almost there. 7 weeks. It still seems like so much time. People say time just flies by, I don't agree really. I mean when I think about the day we found out we were pregnant, it seems like FOREVER ago, and the first dr's appointment, forever ago, the camping trip right after, forever ago. But I will say the time since finding out its a boy, seems like a blur. so from 16 to 33 weeks, it has flown by, but the whole pregnancy itself, has not. But its ok, I learned a lot, and grew a lot as a woman during that time, which I knew I needed to.

**mooshy moment**

I just have to brag about my husband, I just love him so much. He doesn't know what its like to be pregnant, but he really does try to understand. He tries to imagine having all this weight strapped to his neck, he has a bad neck, and how painful it would be. He always gets me my water at the end of the night to take meds with, he makes dinner when I just can't, he knows exactly how to cheer me up, and when I am needy and just want to spend the night alone with him instead of having friends over, he understands and stays in bed with me.

I had a friend over the other week who is going to lose a lot of weight, cause she will do awesome, I know. :) She was asking me questions and it came up that weight loss changes you, and it changes the way people see you as a person. I told her," weight loss changes the way people look at you, women look at you differently, men look at you more, and people look to you for advice, BUT it does not change the way your husband will look at you." Sounds weird at first right? When I lost a lot of weight I thought Jason would drool or whatever, but he didn't, he was just as attracted to me as he was before. At first I was confused, like hello! I am hotter now! But I realized its because he has always been insanely attracted to me, and there wasn't much room to be MORE attracted to me, because he already was as attracted to me as a person could be. I knew then how much what he says is true, that he doesn't care what I look like, hot or fat, he loves me the same. :) That is how sweet and perfect my husband is. :) and it has made this pregnancy so much easier.

P.S.

We have already decided our next boy will be named Charlie JAMES. So no one steal it!!! :P

Count your many blessings see what god has done.

Count your blessings is one of my favorite church songs. I read over it last week in sacrament meeting and I told myself to count my blessings sometime soon, in detail. So here I go.

I have THE BEST immediate family. They are hilarious, caring, outgoing and just plain perfect for me.

I have THE BEST in-law family. My MIL isn't crazy, my FIL is hilarious, and I inherited a couple hilarious brothers, which I have always wanted.

I am married to someone who adores me, daily. He constantly lifts me up, does wonderful things for me, and over 2 years ago that sweet man took me to the temple and promised me wonderful things before our sealing.

Everything material I owe to him, my beautiful home, my reliable car, the toys I have, the cats I enjoy, and everything in between.

My cats, lol, I just love them. They are sweet little family members that teach me a lot of loving and patience.

knowledge, of all kinds, my fitness knowledge, gospel knowledge, wordly knowledge and social knowledge. I am blessed to be able to learn things daily whenever I want.

my body, its amazing in all the things it can do, and I have been blessed with health.

my motivation, drive and determination to do whatever I want. Even when I have hard times and days, I never let it keep me down for long, and eventually I achieve whatever I want, from fitness, to home decorating, etc.

My will power, it has been a huge blessing in my life as I have needed to overcome different obstacles, usually on my own. Most of the time I have enough will power to not let my surroundings affect me, or negative people bring me to their level.

I have an amazing group of friends, that it has taken me a long time to learn how to develop those relationships into long lasting ones. Growing up in the army I moved every year, so I never needed to nurture friendships cause I knew it wouldn't last. So when I permanently moved here it was weird to need to do that.

The phrase I like most about this song is "see what God has done", because it wasn't at the front of my mind when thinking about my life, that God made it this way. Of course, Jason, my family and I played a part, but I owe everything and all my blessings to my Heavenly Father.

However your life is, whether good or bad, Heavenly Father made it that way, for a reason. There is something he wants you to learn, and he chose that path specifically for you, so try to find the reason. I think my reason is to teach my gratitude and charity. I have so much to be thankful for, that I need to be constantly thankful, and constantly trying to find a way to help others with it.