waiting.

Do you ever feel like your life is paused for a moment?

Like you have all these great ideas and goals, but there is nothing you can do about it right now?

You have a plan, you have goals, everything is set but now you just have to wait.

tick

tick

tick

tick

Siiiiigh.

Jason and I are at a point where we have big decisions to make but are just having a hard time with it. We will make a decision one week, and then the next week choose an entirely different one and its usually based on our moods.

Which is not what you should base decisions on.

I think a part of me is just really scared to choose one or the other.

what if what I prefer isn't what he prefers so then he isn't happy with the choice, or vice versa.

I know I am an impatient person, but I am just getting really impatient.

with alot of things, but mostly I am impatient with myself for not being more patient.

and thats a hard thing to get over.

I think I am also becoming a different type of person than I used to be, and I don't know if its a good thing.

I used to tell people exactly what I thought, all the time, because I thought honesty was the best policy, always. But now I find myself afraid to tell certain people things because I don't want to cause problems, or hurt feelings.

At first it was fine because it wasnt a big deal, but I think I may feel like now I am not able to express myself, my concerns or my feelings because I don't know how others may take it.

I feel in a funk.

I need some sort of change, or something different to happen. I just don't know what.

so for now, I wait.