Lets hear it for the boys

Henry 

He is the funniest kid I have ever met. He does the weirdest funniest things, and as soon as he realizes you are laughing at him, he does it even more. 

He is also the healthiest eater I have ever met. You give him a choice between cookies or fruit, he will hands down always take the fruit. He loves his cottage cheese, too. yuck. 

Has turned into a good little napper. anywhere from 2-4 hour nap a day. 

throws his hands in the air for "yay!" all day long. 

he is a guys guy. He loves his grandpas, dad, and uncle. 

He will copy anything you do, and he only has to see you do it once to know how to do it. 

He is adjusting pretty well to Charlie. He still has some aggressive moments about it, and he certainly is not about to give up his baby swing to him, but he loves to give him his version of kisses. 

Charlie

or as I like to call him, Char Char

Honestly such a sweet baby. Even his cry is soft and innocent(total opposite of Henry's lol)

HATES pooping and being poopy. He wont stop fussing until you change him

only does 1-2 feedings a night

is still asleep almost all day

loves to snuggle with just about anybody

has little rolls on his legs, but they definitely aren't chunk

still sleeping in our room, and honestly I am scared to move him, but more on that later

takes a binky, and it helps in some situations, but doesnt seem to be attached to it

Jason

Cutest hubby ever

He was such a trooper through my pregnancy, and even when I was at the hospital calling him at 4 am to come help me deal with annoying nurses

does more than his share of the work on the weekends

getting better and better at golf

started a new position at Goldman Sach's and is loving it

studliest man I know

2 weeks down, 934 to go

Meet Charlie. This is the only nice picture I have taken of him so far. I suck. its my goal for tomorrow to take his newborn pics. I must. 

Anyway, I started this post amped with a lot of juice for it, but that has fizzled. So here are the basics. 

Charlie is an AMAZING baby. If you remember, Henry was a nightmare newborn, screamed constantly, slept and napped AWFUL, didnt eat, etc. Charlie is the complete opposite on every level. Hardly cries, eats and sleeps like a CHAMP. Seriously, he is probably only awake for a couple hours a day. 

He was a HUGE baby at birth, 8lbs 10oz.  I mean, it was just ridiculous.  He has gorgeous brown hair that I just adore. He took his circumcision like champ, even though we had to wait until he was two weeks old to do it. 

He is such a patient baby, and I am so blessed for that. If Henry gets hurts or needs me that moment, I can set him down whereever for however long and he is fine. 

He is a total snuggle bug. he rarely makes a peep when he is being held. Its pretty adorable. 

This is Henry and Charlie. 

Henry, hasnt made his mind up yet about Charlie. Sometimes he loves him, gives him kisses and wants to help with him. Other times he is hurling projectiles at him and trying to smack him on the head. I will chalk it up to brotherly love. 

I can tell, that Henry can tell that something is different, and he is trying to work with it. He hasnt really done a bunch of tantrums. He can look at me, see I might be busy, and do something else. It kind of makes me sad, cause I dont want him to think I am too busy for him, so I make extra certain when I see he wants me, that he gets me. 

(Possible TMI ahead)

Then there is me. Sorry, no picture. 

2 weeks postpartum and I think I am almost back to normal. my girlie parts still hurt a little if I do too much, the bleeding has almost completely stopped, but my milk seems to still be there. At least I am not engorged, that crap hurt. 

I havent tried to fit into any clothes other than my maternity stuff, cause I am just too dang scared. 

So there ya go. 

theres our update. 

:)

My and Charlie's journey to his first week of life, and why I quit breastfeeding

Before I begin this post I want to start with thanking EVERYONE for your advice and support in the last week about breastfeeding. 

I have decided to not breastfeed, or pump, and I am happy with the attempt I made. 

In the hospital every nurse helped me, and the lactation specialist. I left the hospital sorta kinda good with breastfeeding, after 5 mins of work I could get Charlie to latch, I had to relatch him several times, and there was no milk, so it was kinda pointless. I cant remember what all happened in what order, but I tried latching him on my own, my milk hadnt come in, by the time it had we had already supplemented with a bottle to make sure he was eating, so he then had no interest in the nipple, so I tried the nipple shield, worked once, but with my milk once the nipple shield filled with milk, he had to suck harder to get more out and he didnt like that. So then I decided to just pump and feed him with a bottle. Here is the issue I had with that. It is EXTREMELY time consuming. When Charlie came, next to his safe arrival, the most important thing to me what Henry. Making sure he knows he is loved, cherished, adored, and happy. That means I wanted every single free second I had, to go to him. Not the pump. Even if the pump was for Charlie, it wasnt important to Charlie, like my attention is to Henry. 

I was also MISERABLE. People kept telling me it could take over a month to get the hang of it, and I only planned on BF for 6-8 weeks, so to be miserable for a month, for the last two weeks to be good, was completely stupid. Looking back(as if it was that long ago lol) I can see that I was depressed. I wasnt happy, I didnt feel like anyone else in my family was happy, and I didnt feel like any aspect of breastfeeding was right for us. The thought of Jason going back to work absolutely terrified me, because I still didnt even know how I was going to feed Charlie. I understand now that what I went through is probably pretty common when learning to BF and getting the hang of it, but that doesnt mean it was worth to me. It just wasnt. 

So with that, I decided to stop it all together and switch to formula. I dont feel ashamed, or like Charlie isnt getting what is best. Formula is just best in our family, was for Henry too, for lots of reasons. Jason gets to bond with them, I can KNOW for certain what they are getting, they stay fuller longer, its easier to leave him with others, and it doesnt make me emotional or hormonal. 

So no, I am not breastfeeding anymore, and honestly, I dont think I will try again if we have another child. I dont see it going any different than it has before, and its not worth it to me anymore to even try. 

I am currently trying to get rid of my milk supply, and that is sooo painful. not to mention I hate waking up in a pool of breast milk. So any advice or tips you can offer in THAT category would be greatly appreciated. :) 

Charlie's debut

We arrived for our scheduled induction around 6 am. We got checked in, and I was already dilated to a 4.5, and my contractions were every 3-5 minutes. I had been in early labor since Sunday if you remember. 

So they started me on Pitocin, then, the horror, the epidural. I had an epidural with Henry, so I knew what to expect and how it goes. The anesthesiologist came in, and instantly it was like a dark cloud entered the room. He was not talkative, nice, social etc. He just asked basic medical questions, gave me demands on what to do, it was awful. He had me on my side, and didnt even tell me what he was doing or when he was doing stuff, all of a sudden I just felt pain. He said it was really hard because my spine was so compressed so it took a long time and I just bawled and cried through all of it. It was so traumatic. As soon as it was done I was just so depressed and done with everything, I didnt want visitors, my photographer, nothing. I just wanted to crawl into a hole. I know it seems a bit extreme, but it was just really awful mentally for me. 

But, after I took a small nap I perked up again and once my Dr. came to break my water he cheered me up. Then my mom and sister got there and I felt good again. So That all was at 7 am, my Dr broke my water around 8. Then we just hung out for an hour or two and at 1030, the nurse came to check me and I was a 9.5! She hurried and called my Dr. who came downstairs and we started pushing. 10 minutes later, I had Charlie. :)

Even though I decided I didnt have the energy to do a birth session, I still wanted pictures so I had my little sister take my camera and take pictures. lol poor 17 year old. 

2 pictures were being taken here lol. we clearly werent on the same page about where to look.

He's pretty darn perfect. He was 8 pounds 10 ounces!!! at 2 weeks early!!!!  21 inches long, just like his brother. :) 

We are in our recovery room and so far, almost everything is going fantastic. I am dressed in regular clothes! that was a goal of mine. I can move around just fine. I am however, having the same issues I had with Henry in the urinating category. I think I must be shaped funny anatomy wise and it just blocks off when I am swollen like this. I have 30 minutes more to try and pee on my own or I have to get a cath again. :( 

Also the breast feeding could be going better. He latches good, but then just sits there. lol He sucks a couple times, nothing substantial, and then just falls asleep lol. Soooo I dunno. But thats already 10 times better than Henry did. 

For the most part this little guy is just sleepy. 

Pre Charlie

I am just sitting in, here the quiet of our bedroom, waiting for my freshly painted toenails to dry, and am trying to hold back emotions that I have about having another baby. 

Its so hard to put into words out it feels. 

On sunday I went into early labor while at my mother in laws house, so we went over to the hospital to see what was going on, and let me tell you, leaving Henry there was the HARDEST part of this whole thing. He was totally fine and happy, playing outside with balls and whatnot, but for me, sitting in the car pulling away from him knowing that in that very moment, I was choosing my other child over him, killed me. It hurt so bad, all I could do was cry. I wasnt progressing fast enough so they sent me home. To be honest I was more upset that I got sent home because it meant I would have to leave Henry like that again, and that is giving me so much anxiety. 

I rocked henry to sleep tonight, possibly for the last time as a mom of just 1, and I took every chance to soak it up and connect with his sweet spirit. 

Its hard for me to realize that I am changing Henrys life completely, and that theres no way for me to make it not hard for him. I am so aware of him and his needs for love and attention and I hope I can do enough for him. 

I love Charlie so much already, and am aware of him also, and his needs for love and attention. 

Its already so hard for me. 

There are so many emotions that I didnt expect to feel. Its down to the wire, its too late for learning and changing things, its less than 48 hours away. Its so stressful. 

The funny thing. 

There is such a feeling a peace in our house. 

Such a calm feeling. 

Its quite nice, I hope it stays. 

Ok. my toes are dry. going to bed. :)