40th week.

Well I am in my 40th week and still no baby.

**sigh**

I kinda had a tiny hope he would come early but I am not feeling like it will happen. Thats ok, though, when he is ready to start his life, he will come. :) Each appointment I keep dilating a little bit more, so I know I am progressing.

I will admit, there is an emotion I was not prepared for. I did not think I would have such a hard time not being in control of the situation, but I am. Its so hard and nerve wracking to not be able to plan a few days even one day ahead, because I don't know when baby will come. Its frustrating that I can't put off doing the dishes, because I don't want to come home from the hospital to dirty dishes. I hate not being in control, and I didn't know I was that kind of a person. So I have tried my best to control the things I can, which is mostly cleaning my house or decorating. lol. My shower got a huge deep scrub, which is needed, the whole house is clean, floors and all, and I am trying my hardest to keep it that way. I KNOW I want to come home from the hospital to a clean house, so I keep reminding myself of that.

If you will remember from here, I had a feeling the baby wouldn't come before General Conference, and truthfully, as impatient as I am, I am ok with that. I remember having that specific thought enter my mind, that I needed one more, so I can't wait to listen and try and figure out what exactly I needed to get from it.

I keep talking to my Dr. about inducing, and I really need to ponder that this weekend because all along I have not wanted to induce, I want him to come on his own. I think I keep talking about being induced because its something I can control, which I need to get over.

So thats pretty much it. I haven't had any new symptoms, and the pain has actually gotten less, its just really hard to move around and do things.

Not too much longer though!!!

Frames frames frames

Ok, I have decided to go with what all of you told me you liked, the grey paint color, First Frost.

(did I mention if it looks terrible everyone who voted for it is responsible to come help me repaint?) :)

The repainting will happen sometime in May, when Jason goes to London for two weeks. :(

This re-do is so far really fun for me, because I am not in a hurry, I can take my time, think things out, plan attention to detail, do things right, etc.

The current project I am working on is the wall of pictures in the front room.

See below:

This is how it looks so far. Here is the problem. When I had this wall planned out in my mind, it was NOT going to be symmetric. It was going to be all different shapes and sizes of frames, placed randomly and not so perfect. But, I just happened to find 8 frames that were the exact same at DI, that CAME with the perfect mats, and I couldn't help but get them, which made doing a random pattern very hard. Besides what is already on the wall, I have 6 more of the 8x10's, and I have 4 other frames that are identical to each other that I could mix in there, but they don't have mats. I love the mats.

Its frustrating. So this is what my living room currently looks at, its a mess. But I am SOOO excited for it to be painted. oh I cant wait.

POST EDIT

I played with it more today, here is what it currently looks like.

*Pregnancy update*

I know I said I was done talking about the pregnancy, since there is nothing new, but there is a tiny new tid bit. I have decided I am not going to have my Dr. strip my membranes. This last week I have worked on accepting God's will, and his timing, so I am not going to push things, until Henry is a week late. I have been patient for 273 days, I can wait 21 more.

Its kinda funny how full circle pregnancy(at least mine) has come. At the very beginning I was grateful, patient, connected, and thinking about it in a spiritual way knowing that it was God's plan however it happened. Then in the middle I was irritated, frustrated, uncomfortable, annoyed, impatient, and all other emotions. Now I have come back around to the first set. Its way more peaceful this way. :)

OH, and pick A B or C. :)

I am being silly!!

I used to make fun of people that do what I am currently doing.

You know, people who at the paint store hold up two different paint samples trying to decide between the two, and they are like 1 itty bitty tiny shade different.

Just pick one! I would yell in my head.

But alas, here I am, staring at two completely "different" paint samples and I can not decide. So I turn to you.

Below are several pictures on different walls, in different lights, and I ask you to pick on.

The choices are Windswept, or First Tide. Ignore the really dark purplish color, its no longer an option.

One is more white, and one is more gray, but I can not decide which I love more.

The only way I can tell you to tell me which one, First Tide has a teeny tiny red F under it.

or just figure out a way to tell me which one. :D

Re-do!!!

So sue me, but I am tired of the main part of the house decor. :)

My husband warned me that the colors and such I had chosen were sure to get old for me after some time, I didn't believe him. It was one of those times I really should have listened to him.

I love the yellow and aqua colors that are on my wall, I just don't love them on my wall anymore, and I HATE the brown that I agreed to leave there from the previous owners. I also don't think the knick knacks and decor in the front room makes much sense.

so,

RE-DO!!!

:D

Not all at once, because Jason won't let me paint while I am prego, but I can do the rest slowly as I wait for Henry.

Today was frames. I love frames, you can always use a good frame. Every time I am at the DI I buy a couple frames, guaranteed. Jason hates it.

So I had a plan, of what I want to do on the wall in our living room, and it was going to require quite a few frames, from large to small.

I had them all. :D

picture time.

Here is what the frames looked like before. Now, the temple one I got at DI and wasn't sure if I would try to salvage the temple, or just use the frame since its square, and square is hard to find.

(The white circle is a sort of mache temple piece someone made)

I decided to try and salvage it. I scraped it off with a cookie sheet spatula, spray painted every piece and here it is. I quite love it actually, the blue might be a bit bright, but you cant really be too picky with spray paint.

The other two frames got a fresh coat of glossy black, and I painted the mats an antique white.

This wall is going to be a collage of frames, all black, with white mats, and black and white pictures in them. I am taking down the floating shelves also. Don't want the room to be too busy, remember, simple. :)

Its hard to visualize I am sure, but the new idea for this floor of the house is light, airy, classy, simple, elegant. The paint splotch on the wall is a sample of the color I thought I wanted, but I can't decide if its light enough.

Here is a close up of the paint sample color. Its called Tinsel Beam, and its not what I was hoping for. I wanted a really super light cotton white blue type color, and this one has too much color in it for me. On some walls it even looks purple, so tomorrow I will go back and get a different paint sample.

This room is hardly finished, I would say its 3% complete lol.

So basically the whole first floor is going to be one color(its now 3!), with a very light subtle feel to it, very relaxing and not so overwhelming.

Jason likes to call our current paint scheme a melted crayon box, and his friend likes to call it a mexican circus tent. Ugh, I don't know what I was thinking, I was just so excited to get out of white walled apartments I threw bright colors up!

Oh well, I am fixing it now. :)

38 weeks

"The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them."

that is the thought for the week that is currently driving my thoughts and focus for the week.

Henry is estimated to already be 8 lbs. I really hope he doesn't get bigger! :)

Patience is a virtue

"Patience doesn't mean you just wait around. Patience is to keep working while trusting in the Lord's timing."

my little sister is on her mission in Florida and her message to us for this week was about patience. I am SURE she knew I was getting impatient about delivering, so it was directed at me, but it was for sure something that struck me as inspirational right now. I really have just been waiting around, and even more, trying to push the Lord's timing.

I am getting impatient, but I know that everything is done in the Lord's timing. It doesn't matter how much it makes sense to me for the baby to come now, or how everything points to him coming soon, if its not the Lord's will, there is no changing that. Further more, I wouldn't want to change it. I know his timing is the way it is, because that is for the best.

The other part of the thought was to continue working while trusting in the Lord's timing. If I do say so myself, I have done fabulous at getting ready for the baby to come. My house is nearly ready, his nursery is totally ready, and I have been working hard to make sure everything is ready. There is still more I can do, so that is what I will do, while I trust in the timing. No more bouncing on yoga balls, eating spicy food, swinging on swings or labor inducing massages. It really is a waste of time when you realize you aren't in control no matter how much you want to be.

I KNEW when I got pregnant that my biggest obstacle was going to be my patience, because I have NONE. I knew it was something I desperately wanted to learn, especially in becoming a parent, you have to be patient. So while I lost sight of it the last couple weeks, I am going to refocus my energy on enjoying the small moments, and absorbing all I can about what it means to be patient. Again, if I do say so myself, through the majority of the pregnancy I have been pretty good about being patient, and having my cats has definitely taught me some patience.

I am grateful for these moments when I am brought back to spiritual reality about what is truly important. :)

Until next time!

Happy Easter Season!

remember from here, my wall of holiday?

The only holiday I really deck the house out with is Christmas, a little of Halloween and Thanksgiving.

Other than that, decking my house out every month would be tiring, probably get procrastinated, and I am sure I would get bored of it.

But I looove decorating a little for each little holiday(besides like Arbor day...)

This month I had a St Pattys day graphic in the frame, but I totally forgot to take a picture before I put the Easter one up, my bad.

The Easter one is my FAVORITE as far as content, and my least favorite for how I executed it. I wanted them to be simple, not a lot if any embellishments, but thought provoking of sorts.

anyway here it is:

Normally there is a white mat in there, but I had to print this one at 16x20 so you could read it. Its my faaaavorite primary song. Our primary did a version of it a couple months ago, and it inspired the way I did this. They had the children sing the question, and the teachers sing the answer. So the questions are in pink, and the answer in blue.

I am excited to get the rest of the years posters printed. :)

Sorry, I wasn't in the mood to take good pictures.

The nursery is FINISHED!!!

The nursery is finally finished.

All I had left was to finish the bedding and the changing pad. So I am pleased to say its 100% complete. Well, ok thats not true because eventually I am going to do a skirt for the crib, but that doesnt need to be done for the baby to come. ;) oh crap and I have to put the vinyl and logo on the picture wall, ugh, oh well lol, the baby doesnt need it yet lol.

I have to say I loooove the blue. I am really glad I decided to add it the room because all orange would have been too much I think.

so if I haven't gone through it yet, lets go through the costs of everything, cause it wasn't expensive.

The chair was 5$ at a thrift store. I just changed the fabric and voola.

The dresser we already had, just painted it black and white, instead of brown.

The floating shelves were each 1$ at the DI, that I painted black.

The blue frame was 3$ at Wal-Mart, that I painted blue.

The frames on the wall were all 1$ at the dollar store.

The changing pad cover was 10$ at Wal-Mart.

The rug was the splurge. I made it myself, it costs about 40$, I used a rich thick fabric, and the other supplies were like 20$. But still, at least 150% cheaper than I could have found anything like it online.

The 49er's helmet, and Longhorns helmet on the shelf, were gifts from my momma. Free. :)

This is the blanket I FINALLY got the courage to finish!! I am proud that I didn't ruin it, its not perfect by any means, but for my first one, it rocks. :)

The blanket I would say costs about 50$ between all the different fabric, yarn, appliqué and such. It took a lot of time though. I would guess I spent about 5, maybe upwards of 10 hours on it. It really is the key to the whole room, so I wanted it to be perfect.

I am not including the furniture in this part, because obviously these are things you will always need to get, so its not like I could have gotten it cheaper.

The canvases were 8$ a piece I think, 2$ for the paint. It took me about 30 mins to do.

The curtains were 15$ I think, again I wanted a rich fabric, not cotton.

The Longhorn sign was a gift from my momma lol

the frame above the longhorn sign was actually a wedding gift we never used.

The sheets were 10$.

The bumper was 30$. I was originally going to make the bumper, and it was going to be orange, but I got too nervous about making one that was breathable. So I just bit the bullet and bought a breathable bumper. No suffocating baby for me! :)

The pillow on the glider I got at a yard sale like 2 years ago for 1$.

I didn't keep track, but minus the furniture I would say the whole thing, including wall paint, cost about 200$.

I love my nursery. I go in there sometimes and just sit in the glider and wonder about the future. I put a lot of love into that room, so Henry better love it. :)

37th week of pregnancy!!!

37th, freaking, week, of pregnancy.

yikes. its so weird to think this pregnancy is almost over. I have been pregnant for so long!

Its getting to that time that people are starting to guess when Henry will come.

Here's my two cents.

As far as my body, and whats going on with the baby, I feel like it could be any day. He is really low, his head is squished in my pelvic bones, and each day the pelvic pressure gets progressively worse. There are a few other signs of labor coming, but they are a little TMI. ;)

BUT

I had a thought enter my mind a couple months ago, where something was telling me that I was going to get one more general conference session in before he comes. I remember at that time feeling very strongly that was going to be the case, but I just don't know with all the physical parts that are seeming like its coming soon.

SO

I am not making a guess. A) I will know more tomorrow, at my first weekly Dr's appointment where he will check my cervix and everything. Pretty much if NOTHING has happening, no thinning, effacing, dilating, etc. I am going to mentally prepare myself for the full 4 more weeks, but if something, anything has happened, I will think its closer. B) I won't let him go past my due date. I am in too much pain, getting too large, and too impatient, so on April 8th he will be induced. Don't try and talk me out of it, it will just annoy me. ;)

AND

I think, think being the operative word, that I may go on a blogging break. I have blogged this ENTIRE pregnancy, and there is not much else to blog about it. Plus I want to take a break from blog/Facebook to ground myself and prepare myself for the baby to come. not to say I won't read blogs, get on facebook etc. Just not so much. I need to put things in perspective, and just enjoy the quietness of my home while its here. ;)

BUT

Before I leave, I will tell you that my baby is huge. I don't exactly know how huge, but its gotten to the point that really any movement he makes is uncomfortable and sometimes feels like a bruise. He stretches and a big bump pokes out where his feet at.

SO

MAYBE the next time you hear from me on here, it will be announcing the arrival of Henry. :)

list progress and pregnancy

remember from this post, my 23 day organizing productivity plan?

Well let me tell you how its going.

I am on day 9, and have completed 4 of the tasks....

I have completed the major laundry pile we had, which, was huge.

organizing the cords.

organizing the TV stand, which is now so empty it needs some decor.

and I have cleaned the baseboards I really wanted to clean, like the bathroom. ew.

I have not purged all my clothes, for 2 reasons. 1. my husband doesn't want me to. He and I differ greatly in this area, my philosophy, if you havent worn it in a year, throw it away. His is, if you have the space for it, keep it. I am still going to do the purge, I just have to be careful I don't throw away something I will want to rebuy in a week and have to hear him say I told you so. 2. A lot of what I need to purge is garments, and as you probably know thats a task in and of itself. Anyone wanna come have a garment bonfire with me?!

I have not cleaned the kitty litter room, because I need to get a face mask to wear to do that. I know its easy peasy to get one, I just haven't.

I have not organized the fabric, because I need to go to a comic book store and get a supply I need to complete this project. Its going to be the bomb dot come when its done so be patient.

I have not finished the crib set, because I am too nervous I am going to mess it up. :( I loooove the blanket, so much, and it took 8 hours of hard work, and I would be devastated if I ruined it while trying to put the back and batting together. So, I don't know how to get past that lol.

I have not made the carseat cover, because I need to get the back fabric first. Again, I know its easy peasy to do, but again I just haven't.

Tomorrow my task is to reorganize the kitchen. I need to talk to my hubby about it tonight, get a game plan, and do it tomorrow. It must be done for the baby to come. First, there needs to be a baby cupboard and drawer, for bottles, bibs, etc. second, I need to rethink where we have things, the sharp knives are within childs reach, but maybe I just need to get a baby proof lock on it. third, I have cereal in 3 different places, and a whole cupboard that is not even being used. So its not very efficient.

The next day is clean all the ceiling fans, which I am soooo excited for.

Although the execution of this plan hasn't been perfect, its done what it was intended for. It makes me feel productive, and keeps me busy each day.

Its not time for a baby post, but I am doing one anyway due to new developments, and I wasn't really in the mood to in the last one. :)

This is the baby's last position, and ironically its his exact position. He is sideways so when he stretches we can feel his bum on my right side lol.

I think the baby's head is engaging. There is different levels of engaged, but I really think his head is down there good. When I roll over at night I swear I can feel my pelvic bones knocking his head.

I have noticed, while doing the tasks from my list, that the longer I am up and on my feet, the more things feel like something is happening. Tightening happens a LOT more, recently I have started getting lower cramps, and at the end of the day, the pelvic pressure is insane.

I am swollen and puffy, and I finally feel more pregnant than fat. I still feel like I am larger in certain areas than I should be, but when I see pictures of myself now I see a pregnant swollen person, which is a huge step lol.

And like full circle the nausea and tiredness from trimester one is back. I don't mind it though because it keeps me from eating awful. ;) The tiredness I think is more due to lack of good quality sleep at night. My hips ache at night, and my pelvic floor muscles scream in agony anytime I roll over, so I wake up about every hour or so to turn over in the least amount of pain. I seem to get better sleep after the night is over, and I go sleep downstairs on the couch while watching the morning news. eh. I will take it.

Interactions with Henry have made this last bit of pregnancy much better. Its so fun to see him move, feel him move and make him move lol. If we press our finger into where his feet are, he will kick it. Its so cute to be apart of both interactions, when Jason plays with him I see how excited Jason is, but then I FEEL Henry's reaction to him and its the sweetest thing to experience. My sister thinks its totally gross that we can tell where his bum is, or feet, and gets all sickened out when I point it out to her.

9 months is a long time. It really is sooo long. Its almost a year. I mean I am pregnant for 40 weeks out of 52 in a year. I know its coming soon, but it just feels so weird and I can't picture it. I can't picture a baby in the carseat, or in the nursery, I can't picture the midnight feedings, or loading him into the car. It makes me nervous that I can't picture any of it, like maybe I am not supposed to because something will go wrong? :( I am paranoid, and this is probably the scariest part. There are so many things that could go wrong during labor, and then when he is born there are so many things I could have done wrong during pregnancy that we will find out about. UGH! Its scary stuff. I constantly ask Jason for blessings and I tell him specifically what I need him to say lol " I need you to say I bless Henry that he won't have bulging eyes that leak yellow fluid."( I had a weird dream like that). He never obeys me, but the blessings are still comforting. ;)

Well, only time will tell! hopefully I only have a couple more of pregnancy posts to do. ;)