You are my google part 2

THANK YOU!!!

seriously, thank you guys for your "novels." I will be bookmarking that post so I can go over your comments over and over when Charlie comes. 

BUT, I do have 1 HUGE concern based on what you all said.

Everyone pretty much said the same thing, that a feeding takes anywhere from 20-60 minutes at a time at first. How in the world am I supposed to accomplish that while taking care of Henry?

Is that why moms have these snuggy long fabric wrap things?

Cause seriously, Henry's not a bad baby, but hes very energetic and always on the go and into something, so there is no way I sit somewhere from 40 minutes to feed baby, then pumping on top of that?!

Seriously, I am getting anxiety over it. 

I know some of you wont know what to say, cause you're like me with just 1 kid, but some of you have two and BF both, SO TELL ME HOW IT WORKS!!!

And seriously, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your "TMI comments" :) They were exactly what I was looking for. 

you are my google

I didnt breastfeed Henry, and honestly I had no desire to. Furthermore with the issues he had it wouldnt have been for long anyway. 

But assuming Charlie won't have those issues, I REALLY wanna breast feed him. 

Reasons aside, it doesnt matter, but I am determined to for at least 8 weeks. 

BUT, I have no idea where to start. 

When I had Henry, a lactation consultant came to our room to try and help me, and I found it quite the opposite. 

So I, like always, am turning to you, my faithful loyal blog readers. 

You guys have never steered me wrong in the past, so help me out again. 

First, I know there are breastfeeding classes and things like to help, so if its your opinion that those classes are all I need, then you can just say that. 

If you think theres a lot more to it than a class teaches, help me out. 

here are my biggest worries or concerns:

How do I know when he has had enough

when do I know to switch sides

how long does it take to thaw and warm up a frozen one(for Jason to feed at night)

does breastfeeding really make them not sleep as great

do you leak all the time

tips and tricks for teaching baby how to first latch(that was my problem with Henry)

boppy pillow, necessary?   

I am sure I have more questions, those are just all I can think of right now. 

:) Thanks, Ladies. 

humph.

I cant get rid of this negative funk I am in! 

All day everyday all I can think about is 2-3 years from now, when all 3 of our children are here, I can get back into shape, and move on from the "starting a family" phase to just having a family. 

helping them develop their personalities

likes

dislikes

teaching them

learning with and from them

playing with them

loving and being love by them

laughing with them

Im just not a pregnancy person, or a newborn person.

I am already tired, 1 kid in, of being the constant lively caretaker. I can handle a basic caretake of a toddler/kid, but a baby caretaker just takes sooooo much out of me. Its constant, 24/7 about another person.

Don't get me wrong, I love Henry with every fiber of my soul, and would do it all over again 100 times for him in a heartbeat, but I just can't wait for the next chapter in our familys life. Being a family. 

I know we are a family, but sometimes it feels like Jason and I still, with a baby. I look forward to when they all have opinions(as frustrated as I know it might get at times). 

Like when I can say:

What do you guys want for dinner?

What game should we play?

Should we go to grandmas?

I am just excited for my babies, to be people. 

I love my son, more than anything, more than I ever thought possible, and I will cherish his infant year and look back with many fond memories. 

Like getting up for a feeding at 4 am and snuggling him on the couch while we watch the Royal wedding. 

having to keep my hand in the back seat from the front so he could suck on my pinky to sooth him.

Rocking to him sleep for his naps all the way until he was 1. 

Rooting him on as a newborn when he sneezed 5 times in a row telling him he can totally make it to 6.

I will always remember these times and many more, but I just cant get past, looking forward. 

Anyone else feel this way? Ever? 

its a vicious cycle

Allow me to vent for a minute. 

I am tired of being pregnant. 

and not just this pregnancy, the next one. 

I am already tired of being pregnant with the next baby. 

I just want my family here, to have my body back, get back into shape, wear all my old and new pretty clothes, feel great, be able to run around with my kids, and just not be pregnant. 

does anyone else feel this way?

I get so much motivation to eat right and work out, and even do it, but its such a frustrating mental game in my head that I can do it all and still be fat(pregnant) and not only not see results, but know that I wont for a very long time. 

Its so depressing and half the time I just think what in the frick is the point. 

it makes me wanna cry, do better, yell, give up, try harder and all of that just makes me a complete basket case. 

With my recent coming to terms of my shopping addiction its made this issue even worse. 

When I lost 50 lbs 3 years ago, I switched from eating for fun and destress, to shopping. Now that I need to gain control of my shopping, I naturally wanna return to eating for fun and destressing. 

I am just frustrated. 

overwhelmed. 

depressed, 

no light at the end of the tunnel.

doomed to be fat. 

I could cry, but I know that won't help. and I am getting to the point in this pregnancy that exercise is painful and uncomfortable. 

LUCKILY I havent gained very much this pregnancy, and not even a quarter of what I gained with Henry, so I do have a slimmer of hope that I will bounce back after Charlie comes. 

I am sorry this is such a negative post, but seriously, am I the only one that feels this way?

My name is Kati and...

 I have a secret. 

Its not an exciting one, its more of a hidden one. 

I have had this secret, problem, since I can remember. Since I was able to have it, around 16-17. 

I am an addicted compulsive shopper. 

I know, you may think well so am I, but its not the typical woman needs to shop sorta thing. 

I have to buy something, everyday. If I don't, I get some sort of chemical reaction causing anxiety. 

as a single adult it got me into a lot of credit card debt, as as a married adult its causing my husband lots of stress. 

I go to the dollar store and spend $30 on stuff that I maybe use half of. 

I go to the DI to justify buying stuff cause its so cheap, and then my basement is now full of DI goodness. 

I buy things on clearance so Jason cant make me take them back. 

I will hide stuff for 30 days so I am past the refund policy. 

or I just tell him I will take something back and I don't. 

its bad. 

I don't think its super bad like go on a TLC addictive habits show, but its bad enough it needs to change. 

Now I am not a hoarder, I can for sure say that. I have no issues getting rid of stuff, and that bugs Jason too. 

I grew up moving around in the military and my mom had a cleaning theory, if you haven't used it in a year, throw it away. Since we moved all the time, we didn't want to constantly pack and unpack stuff we never used. 

The only things I save that I havent used in a year are decor items I want to use some day, and fabric. I buy a LOT of fabric. If I am at a fabric store, which I go to just for fun, and I see one I love, I have to buy at least a yard of it in case when I need it, its gone. 

sigh. 

its bad. 

its slightly embarrassing.

and its stressful, for me, my husband, and our marriage. 

Everything I have read online about it says that typically to get over this "addiction" you may require therapy. 

but, I don't know, its weird to me to think of it as an addiction or something that requires treatment. 

I am sure that is a phrase lots of compulsive shoppers say, but its true. 

It kinda seems silly to seek help for it, and I really don't understand how it would help. 

So for now, on my own, I put all my credit cards and money spending things in Jason's possession. He says that makes it seem like I am a teenager that needs to have things taken away, but thats the only way I know how to not spend. 

Sooo we will see how it goes. 

So there you have it. Thats my secret. Sorry it wasnt something exciting like twins, but there it is. 

Anyone else a compulsive shopper, or another secret?

1 year older

Soooo.....

This little dude.

is turning 1!

Sometimes it blows my mind that he is already 1, and then other times it feels like he should be leaving for college already. 

He certainly has done a total 180 since his newborn days. I remember for the first like 2 months all he did was scream and scream. It was torture. Luckily I had a few good friends to give me good advice and help me through it. Thanks to those of you. :)

These days, this kid is rarely anything short of happy. He is constantly smiling, laughing, babbling, and flirting. He flirts with alllllll females. He is the most well behaved baby ever when we go to the store. He never makes a peep and just looks around. Sometimes he babbles to me and I babble back. I love it. he loves to suck on food, and then spit it out. That is getting kind of frustrating. 

At any rate, I am excited to have a big party for him. 

To kick off his birthday we bought him a swing set. 

:)

I never had one growing up, so I was excited when it finally arrived. 

Here are some pictures of his first go around on the swing set. 

 

So basically it makes for 1 happy kid, and I am HOPING it will soon start to make for a tired kid that will take a longer nap. :/ Currently he is on 1 nap a day, but its only 2-2.5 hours. :(

Happy Birthday week to my little man! Can't wait for saturday. 

Birthday party post to come after. :D