Drastic change and secret blessings

Sometimes things happen in your life that are blessings in disguise, and I like to call these secret blessings. After Jason and I were married, I was looking for a job in SLC and felt strongly impressed to accept a job offer at Orange Legal Technologies. My job was to communicate with lawyers and paralegals from over 100 law firms in SLC. I looked at this job as a HUGE blessing. and it was, just not for the reasons I thought. I was going to be able to build a network of contacts in the legal field so when I finished school to be a paralegal, I would easily be able to find a job. I have done well as this company, have been promoted and looked at as a problem solving employee by the managing attorney, and the owner himself. This job has been a blessing, it has opened my eyes to the fact that I DO NOT want to work in the legal field. I work with over a 100 law firms, all of which are high stress environments, long hours, boring tedious protocols and little satisfaction. I love law, I love that it can help people, but lets face it, unless you are working for the attorney general and prosecuting sex offenders, its not that great. I love my job, and I am so grateful for it. I am grateful that I was able to realize I wouldn't like that career, before actually getting into it. Not many people get that chance, and I know a lot who wish they would've. I am grateful for secret blessings from my savior.
What am I going to do now you ask? I still want to go to school, as late as it may be and as old as I may be, its important to me. So if I am not going into law, what do I want to do?? simple. I want to get my degree to be a Fitness Technician, or in other words, a personal trainer. I can also get a certification in yoga and be able to teach yoga and pilates classes. Fitness and health are things I am very passionate about and things that will never bore me. Having been overweight, and feeling low about myself, I feel I would be able to relate to people better than someone who hasn't been overweight and doesn't know what they are feeling. I am excited about this new path I have decided to take and if you would have asked me when I was a junior in high school if I could ever see myself as a personal trainer I would have laughed in your face, and then cried. I have lost 30 lbs and there is nothing like experience to teach you about being healthy. I am excited to start this new journey and who knows, things may change, but for now, this is my start.

Life with the powells is good and busy! Jason and I have been running around like chickens for a while and I need a chance to breathe! we spent the weekend in Cedar city which was awesome! Our good friends Ben and Ashley live there and we spent the weekend doing fun random things. I got to see my great friend Whitney! who I have not seen since high school! We gathered at Maggie Moos ice cream, I had a delicious smoothie. Interesting fact, Whitney and I went to high school together in at Layton High and graduated 2005. We then BOTH married guys who both graduated from Murray High in the same year! weird I know. So it was fun to see them, they are moving up here so hopefully we will see more of them! Later that night Benash(Ben and Ashley) and us went star gazing and it was nice to be able to actually see the stars. The next day was a day I will NEVER forget. We ventured out to Zions Caynon where I did my very very firstest hike ever. monumential moment in my life to say the least. We did Angels Landing which is a 5 mile hike. It was an accomplishment for me to say the least. If you know me, you know that I am not much of a nature person, but if you know my husband you know that he is a nature person, so it makes for intersting outings. He did the hike thinking how beautiful and lovely the scenery was, while I was looking at the hike as a physical exercise type activity. I couldn't care less about nature. lol. The mountain in the background is as tall as the one I climb. :-)
As for the rest of our life, we returned to SLC, to work and the various other activities that occupy our time and thoughts. It was Jasons birthday this week, he turned 24! I got him a few shirts and some rather expensive shoes, which he will return and get the ones he really wanted lol. We went out to dinner with his parents and Justin and Brittnie that night to Texas Roadhouse, which I still think is overrated. Also on his birthday we made a new addition to our little family! we bought a 2007 Honda Accord for me and I love it!!! Her name is Lola. the picture isnt our exact car, but it is EXACTLY what it looks like. We got an Incredible deal on this car because the owners are adopting their 3rd kid and needed to sell it fast. we paid for this 2007 what people are paying at dealerships for 2003 Civics. It was sort of an impulse buy, but we were planning on buying a new car for me anyway. I love it! We are having it detailed on saturday while Jason and I clean our apartment cause....WE'RE MOVING!! We got out of our lease and are moving to a much nicer apartment complex which we also got a good deal on. the apartment we are normally in rents for 910$ and we are paying 710$. It is in the heart of sugarhouse which is 5 miles to both of our works. Because we are moving closer to work we are saving 45$ on our insurance! YAY! I am not excited about the actual moving part, but I am excited to be out of this complex and into a MUCH nicer one.
So thats our little update. hope everyone is having a great spring/summer so far! YAY for warm weather!

My watch!

So this weekend Jason and I ventured down to Cedar City to hang out with some friends. While we were there I did a craft project! yay!! I wanted to buy some of those interchangable watch bead bands, but then my husband reminded me that I could probably make them myself! and I did! Went to the store, got the supplies and got busy on it this morning. It was a little tedious but it was quick! I got a box of probably 200 brown cream and tan beads, my watch face(which was the most exspensive part at 10.95), the claws and the string thing. I found the instructions online and they were really easy. I love my watch! I will post more about our trip later but for now I was pretty excited about my watch!

My name is Kati and I am a scaredaholic.

Alright for me, this post is huge. I have never admitted this to anyone except my husband before but now I think it is time. I am terrified of pretty much everything. You give me a life situation and I will tell you what scares me about it.

Driving to the store- I am scared of getting in an accident or hitting a pedestrian. driving to my moms- I am scared of going under the overpasses on the freeway cause I think they will buckle. Going to the bathroom- I am scared a snake or spider will come up from the toilet(dumb, I know). After my husband leaves for work- I am scared someone will break into the apartment. coming home from work- I am scared someone has already broken in and is waiting in the apartment. Going camping- I am afraid of a bear eating me at night. going 4-wheeling- I am afraid of it tipping over and killing me. going tubing- I am afraid of losing control and drowning( I am also afraid of drowning in general). going anywhere- I am afraid of someone trying to steal my purse. Horses- I am scared they will realize they can step on me and they will. having kids- I am scared my baby won't be healthy and it will have something wrong with it and as awful as it sounds, I don't know if I could handle that. Also with kids- I am scared of my baby dying from SIDS, also I am scared I will miscarry and never get over it. Buying a house- I am scared both of us with lose our jobs. Going across train tracks- I am scared our car will get stuck on the tracks and a train will kill us. Elevators- I am scared the wires will rust and break plummeting myself to my death. And these aren't just in-the-back-of-my-mind fears, these are constantly-on-my-mind-aware-leary of fears.

There are so many more, these are just the main ones. I know that everyone has their worries and concerns in life, but mine are down right paralyzing fears. It has gotten to the point that I can't sleep at night, or that I have to take sleep aids to be able to sleep. On tuesday there was a home invasion at my apartment complex and it made things so much worse. I was scared to come home, I was sweating and nervous in the car on my way home because I did not want to be alone at my apartment. Because of the recent events Jason and I are doing EVERYTHING we can to get out of our lease and be able to move. I know moving will help, but it will not take away my fears.

So I have decided to go to therapy.

There were a lot of things that happened to me in my childhood that I thought I had worked through, but I can't help but think they have something to do with my fears today.

So today is the day. I have my first appointment today after work, I am really nervous and could use some support. I don't quite remember when I started to be so scared, I want to say it was around when I was 20. I used to LOVE everything about life. I used to enjoy camping and people, and now I dread those things. I want to enjoy life again like I once did. I want to be able to go camping and not thank god every morning that a bear didn't eat me(seriously, I do that). So I hope today is the first step towards change. A better way, a better life.

It upsets me that going to therapy is looked down upon in this society, or looked at as a weakness. There is no shame in trying to better and improve your life. I am not ashamed or even scared to tell you that I am going to therapy. I would love and appreciate your support, but I do not need it.

WISH ME LUCK!

update: WE GOT OUT OF OUR LEASE!!!! we are moving out on the 25th of May!

The sweet life of Kati and Jason

I find myself updating this blog every monday, either because I am bored at work on a monday, or we had an eventful weekend, either way, its updated! Everything in the Powell residence is going quite smoothly, no major catastrophes yet. But....
Jason and I have decided to consider moving to...TEXAS!!! Buying a house here in Utah just isnt working out, and it seems in the back of our minds(or the spirits promptings) that we aren't supposed to buy here. Jason absolutely loves texas, he served his mission there and has always wanted to go back to visit so we thought, why not go back to stay?! The housing market is so terrible there, a house here in utah that would cost 500K, in texas is under 200K. We could move there, buy a way nice house, live comfortably and I wouldn't have to work at all. I probably would cause I would get bored though! I would love to live outside Utah before our family gets older. I think when our oldest kid turns 6 it would be time to move back to Utah to settle down. But for now, an adventure it is for us!! We haven't made a decision yet, it largely depends on if he can get transferred. I will of course update you when new information becomes available!
Jason and I are planning 2 trips this year, hopefully, and we are very excited! Our friends Ben and Ashley live in Cedar city so we don't see them much, we see all of our other friends a bunch, so I was feeling like we need to make a visit to Cedar! so Ashley and I concocted a plan to go to VEGAS! It will be really fun, I am excited to ride the New York New York roller coaster again. Its also Ashley's birthday so I am making something special for her ;-) Then we are kind of planning a trip to Texas this fall to visit Jason's mission! We are going with Ben and Ashley( Jason and Ben were mission companions in the MTC) and are staying for a week. Jason used to talk about his mission all the time so it will be nice to put faces to the names. that is right around the time we are wanting to buy a house so it might not happen in the fall for us but we will see!
Other than that all is well and normal in our lives. Jason is working 7-7 these days while I am still 830-5 so I am all alone when I get home but it leaves me workout time and I know Jason loves his career so for now it works for us. The weather is going to 76 this saturday so you know what that means for us right? GOLF! We are planning on going golfing with my family and then going back to their house for sloppy joes! Oh I could not be more excited. Jason has gone golfing a lot and I haven't gone in almost a month! ah! wish me luck and have a great week!!

Update on this post.

1. house hunting. UGH! up until this point Jason and I have been pretty set on moving up north to an area called foxboro. we have been looking at this area for over a year now and we just love it up there. we put an offer on a house up there, that didnt work, we have recently started talking about building one, but that didn't seem to be what we felt we needed to do. Also we found out this weekend that my parents want to move to st george in 5 years so we no longer need to try and balance out our 2 families locations. SO, we are now looking for a house in the south salt lake area, murray. It wont be as nice as building one, but we are 22 and 24! kids our age don't need to do that. It will be nice to live so close to family when we have kids.

2 which brings me to the next subject, kids. I want to start a family, now. I have learned since that what I want isn't what matters, it truely is what the lord knows is right for us. I don't want to have a baby and not be able to afford to give it everything I want and not be able to afford to still go out with friends and on vacations and things. I know that waiting to start a family is the right thing to do and because I know that, I can be patient. I want to be able to buy everything I see that I want, and be able to stay at home with my child and not worry about bills, I want to have a family and not live paycheck to paycheck.

3 which brings me to the next subject, work. I really do love my job, its a great job, good pay and perfect hours. most of my paychecks go directly into savings. I don't need to work, I could stay home all day while Jason works and our bills would all still get paid, but by me working, we are building our savings so much which will only improve our lifestyle. Jason and I don't live paycheck to paycheck. When we first got married we did, only because we had 3k in debt from our honeymoon. we hurried and paid that off within 3 months and havent really had debt since, except of course his car and student loans. We aren't in any type of credit card debit, in fact we just got paid 250$ from our credit card just for using it. The only reason I don't want to work is because I want to have a baby, and since my realizations on that, I have no reason not to work.

4 my weight loss. for an update on that go here.

5 a Kitty will come with the house, nuff said.

6. seeing my family more. I think if we make an effort to see my family once a week, I will be happy. and I really need to start calling my mom just to talk and how things are going. I have this idea in my head that the only way I can visit with them and see how they are doing is if I see them.

Jason and I are doing lovely. We have truely never been happier. We are enjoying our newlywed life and couldn't ask for more. We are so grateful for the lords hand in everything we do, we have felt his guidance in each step that we take towards our future. I don't know how couples live through their marriage without regualar temple attendance, it is SO important. It is so crucial to living the gospel and to your marriage. we love it! hope everyone is well!

Epiphany!

AH-HA! there are moments in our life, that stop us in our tracks and make us say, ah-ha. Moments where for that one second in time, you have clearity where you once had doubt. Something that you see, something someone says or just a thought that slips into your mind that puts all your thoughts right into perspective. For me, these moments are few and far between, but when they occur, its mind altering. It changes my entire outlook on almost every situation that is currently dominating my thoughts. I know that I will never know the reason for the occasions and emotions that arise through out my life, but I know that there is purpose. I know that there is joy in faith. I know that one day, I will look back on my life and say, ah-ha. Although it may not all make sense at that time, some will, and I will be grateful for that some. Patience and trust are the key to the joy that I so earnestly seek. In the lords time. There is so much comfort that comes from that phrase. Do you know what I said to myself today? ''Ah-ha.''

Ugh

Full battery on my laptop, mind overwhelmed with thoughts. Here we go. I feel as though something is missing. There is something that I am overlooking, forgetting or not achieving. the endless possibilities of what it could be are as follows.

1 and the most obvious it could be that I want to start a family. My husband would argue that I just want to play dress up with cute clothes and paint a nursery but it is so much more than that. Its me and its him and its something that we create to teach and to inspire. Something that is our responsibility to rear in the path of the savior and to help prepare the world for his arrival. It is a life that will rely on me and depend on me for basic human needs, it will be a child that I will give unconditional love and support to. Its not a drive to have a cute baby, its an instinctive chemical drive that consumes every goal and ambition I have as a woman, and as a wife. I feeel as though everything I have been through in my life, every single little and big situation that has occurred in my life has been to prepare me for most important thing I will ever do, to raise a child. My child.

2 is the other obvious, I want a house. I want a place to call mine, and to do with what I please. I want to paint accent walls in vibrant colors and plaster our pictures all over the place to establish it as our house. I want to pull in the driveway and know that its my driveway and no one elses. I want to know my neighbors and feel comfortable with those that surround me. I want to be able to invite overnight guests because we have 3 bedrooms and plenty of space for people to enjoy an overnight stay. We just havent found it yet and its getting frustrating.

3 I dont feel like I am progressing any more in my weight loss and its getting discouraging. I am happy with myself and I know I look good, but I want to look great! I want to be able to go into any store and pick anything off the rack and know that it will fit. I don't want my weight loss goals to consume my life. I dont want to be at the gym every night like I used to when I could be at home with my husband. I have lost 26 lbs and am darn proud of that, but I still want to lose more and I dont want to spend the time doing it. I have matained my current weight without flucuating for a good month now so I know I can mantain it when I get down to my goal weight the problem is just getting there.

4 I want a kitty. thats random.

5 I dont want to work. I have a great full time job where I have been promoted and been made a valuble resource to the owner and managing attorney. I habe stability in it and easiness which I know in this economy is impossible to find. I am lucky to have this job and to be as important as I am, but I dont want to work! I want to be a full time wife. Our apartment is never clean, by the time we both get home we dont want to clean, we cook dinner, make a mess, eat and then dont clean. rinse, repeat 5 times a week makes for a pretty messy kitchen. I want to be my husbands wife, I want to keep our place clean so my husband feels relaxed when he comes home and have dinner ready for him. Right now I feel more like his partner this his wife. I love my job and I love contributing to our bank account so dont get me wrong. I could go to school and get all the education I wanted but it still would never surpass the call to be a wife.

6 I want to see my family more. as it is now we see them once every other week and thats not good enough for me. they are a 45 min drive away and thats not what I want. we are 10 mins from Jasons parents and it needs to be more equal. North salt lake where we are looking to buy a house is 20 mins from each of them. hoorah for that.

I am going to go to sleep now. I only used half the battery.

I need your words of wisdom please :-(

Oh what it easter this weekend

Aside from the ward choir singing on sunday this weekend was just like any normal weekend at the powells. Earlier this week I told Jason he HAS to get me an easter basket. I did the christmas stocking so he does the easter baskets, just like he does valentines day and I do our anniversary, fair right?? well Jason didnt think I was serious!! so he DID NOT get me anything for easter. :-( sad right? wrong!! he made up for it. My cute little husband took our basket that we put mail in, and put a whole bunch of stuff from the fridge in it, soday, fruit cans, grapes and pepperoni. He brought it in to me while I was in the bath and he had the cutest look on his face. Its a dark picture but you get the point. He is so cute! I would rather have that then a junk food candy basket any day!

We got our pictures taken on saturday to mark our 6 month mark, but really just because I love having lots of pictures of us! its going to take a week to get them back and I am so impatient! I am supposed to be getting a sneak peek at one picture sometime today or tomorrow and I am on the edge of my seat! I think I am so excited about these pictures because I have lost 26 lbs so I should look great in these pictures!!! I will put up a comparision to our engagement pictures up I am sure.

I am the luckiest girl alive!! I get to see my husband 121 hours out of the week! I don't know many girls who can say that and I know a lot who wish they could. Jason and I are only apart for the 40 hours we work, and an hour each day for driving time to and from work. The rest of the time its me and him, all the time! I love it and I am very blessed to have it that way. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

We can't find a house that we love, so what are we going to do now? BUILD ONE!

house

BLAH!! That is how I feel right now about the whole house stuff. We put an offer on the home listed below, we offered 20K less then what they were asking because that is what it would be appraised at, so why would be offer more then the house is worth? Well they responded with a counter offer of the full asking price! Retards. So we sent back a rejection, we aren't even going to bother with sending them a counter, its completely their loss. The problem with the market is this, people who bought their house in 2006-2007 bought their house at the WORST time. the inflation on house prices were at the highest point, meaning a house that was only worth 200K people were paying over 300K. Well when the market tanked in 2008 people wanted to sell their houses, their loans were for 300K but the house is only worth 200K! So the problem with our house was they owed 20K more than it was worth and they don't want to take a 20K loss, which is understandable, BUT, no one is going to pay asking price for that house so its gonna sit on the market, they are going to make the loan payment every month, until they lower the price. So FAREWELL to that house! We went out the neighborhood with our Realtor yesterday, looked at 5 houses and fell in love with 2. Jason and I are very against buying an expensive home just because we can afford it. We are approved for a lot more than we have set our budget to, but we don't believe in buying a big house just because we can. A lot of houses have like 2 living rooms, and I only need one! So we have chosen one, but I am not gonna post about it cause I don't want to Jinx it! Lets just say, its as big as the last house, its an actual house with backyard and front yard, has the cutest painted wall in the nursery, and has a HUGE kitchen. Its just as perfect as the last one and its cheaper! It is owned by a cute young mormon couple who have 3 kids and have just outgrown the house. They took WAY good care of it, way nice carpet, walls, the master bath is EXACTLY what we want. We are going have the parents walk through it like we did on the last one, work out our offer and then make an offer. We will see how this one goes!!!
We got very house happy yesterday and we went to Ikea! We already found nightstands that I want at Michaels that are going to be 20$ each with my wonderful coupons! at Ikea we found a TV shelving unit that we like, similar to the picture shown, and some floating shelves that I want. The only other thing I want is Carpet and a Dining room table to match our new chairs. I don't want to get the table at Ikea though. Any ideas on where to get a cheaper but nice dining room table?!

BORED

so. this is a list of thoughts that i have throughout the day. i find myself having the same thoughts day to day so i thought i would document them. lol tee hee. its me right?

"You are, in fact, dumber than any given box of rocks."

"That's what I just said. Say it again."

"no seriously, shut up."

"I wonder what would happen if I stuck this pencil in that little hole in the wall. I think it would stay."

"Don't look at me like that.. I don't really like you either."

"Ok, if I stick this pencil in my eye instead of the hole in the wall, I wonder if he'll stop talking."

"I'll do it tomorrow."

"I need to get an oil change."

"That doodle I made on my desk planner kind of looks like a bunny. How cute."

"shut up. now"

"...And the boots with the furrrr..."

" not only is she wearing the boots with the furr, but she is tucking her pants into the furr.... stop it now."

"I'm going to laugh at that as a favor to you, because that was not even close to funny. It was so far from funny that you can't even see funny anymore. But you seem to be laughing pretty hard at it, so I'll laugh, too."

"Ooops.. Probably shouldn't have said that.. TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK!"

"Um.. Is this a man or a woman?"

" and again, the boots with the furr..."

"my butt is numb"

"does he know what he just said?! take that back a-hole!!"

" so she got rid of the furr boots and she is now wearing pointy shoes...whats the point for? in case you need to take an eye out?"

ConGRatUlatIONs!!!! My cousins Issac and Sara adopted a beautiful baby girl finally!! They have been waiting SO long and been through SO much that I can't think of 2 people who deserve a baby more! I am so excited for them! Her name is Hazel Ann and she is super cute! At least from the one picture I have seen. I just wanted to say congratulations to the new Mommy and Daddy!!!

GRR!!

I have a lot of emotions right now. I am angry, excited, scared, paranoid, happy, anxious, annoyed, nervous, impatient, violated and just plan tired. I love buying a home, its my home, its our problem if something breaks, its my place to feel safe and secure, I can do WHATEVER I want to it! But the whole process is somewhat stressful. To add to the axiousness to get out, my car got broken into AGAIN. All they took was the stereo, my car alarm was even on. I hate our apartment complex and I plain just hate being in an apartment. I share a building with 11 other units, and a complex with 566 units! that is just too many different types of people all shoved together for my liking. The other day we came home from my parents and there was a pit bull loose running like mad and growling! I just hate it. Anytime we go to the house and drive around or go inside it just feels so peaceful and right. Its my own space where I dont have to worry about people stomping up and down the steps, people breaking into my car, whether or not there is an open treadmill at the gym blah blah blah. Also I HATE my ward. If we moved today and switched wards, no one would even know we left. Our ward includes tons of apartments and duplexes so people are constantly moving out, there is no sense of bonding or unity, unless its the old 50 year old women and I dont wanna be their friends anyway! They havent given us a calling, they havent even asked us to speak! we have been there for 6 months! And its not for lack of trying, I make an effort I promise, there is one couple that we talk to when we go and everyone else is just kinda there. There are ALOT of awkward people. old single people who never got married and just became weird, and just plain weird people. I hate it. the area we are hopefully moving to is SO much better you can just tell. It is such a QUIET area too. there are no shopping centers, no grocery stores, no nothing that would bring traffic other then those that live there. But dont get me wrong, all that stuff is just 10 mins away. I found a loophole in our apartment lease that is going to get us out of our lease without paying anything, BUT when I bring that up with the apartment place, they are going to make us leave right then. So we will be in limbo til we close on our house which could take up to a month. oh well because I hate our apartment complex!
Now for some way exciting news! Jason and I are getting a kitten!!! that is as soon as I can find one! they are hard to find right now! But as soon as we get into our house, and I can find one, its a kitten for us! We don't want kids yet, but we want something! I have looked on KSL, craigslist, utahpets.com and I cant find one thats not black! grrrsh. I want a multi colored one preferrably orange. :-)

new hair color

Well I guess its not new, its my natural hair color! I let my hair grown out 3 inches so my stylist could match my natural hair color so now I wont have to color my hair anymore!!! YAY! this is a lame pic but being at work I am limited on how I can upload pics. oh wells!

APPROVED!!

WE GOT APPROVED FOR OUR HOUSE!

This house to be specific!