Pressure.
I have been feeling an extreme amount of pressure lately.
To have a baby.
ugh.
And its different now because before I could say, oh we live in an apartment etc and it doesnt make sense.
But now, there is no good reason not to have a baby, other then the fact that I just don't want to.
Selfish?
Don't get me wrong, I want to have kids, and soon, just not now.
Reasons.
1. I love my job, and will quit when its time to have the baby.
2. The extra income from my job has been quite nice.
3. I want to get the house 100% complete as far as things I want to buy.
4. I am scared to be pregnant, just the physical part of it. ugh.
5. I feel like I am going to be a bad mom. :(
More on #5. I am so impatient and short. If things aren't going my way, or people aren't doing what I say who I feel should, I get very, well, bratty. Its just Jason and I right now, and when we have a baby, it will never be that way until we are old and grey.
I am not one of THOSE girls.
Those girls who feel like they need to get pregnant right away after getting married. Those girls who hate working and think having a baby is the solution. Those girls who want to have a baby as an accessory.
When I do have a baby, its going to be because I am ready to rear a child, to teach it because I want to, not because I have to. Its going to be because I feel ready, not because everyone wants me to be ready.
more on #2. The extra income has been extremely nice, and its not something I feel like giving up anytime soon. When I do have a baby, I don't want to be poor. Sorry if that sounds vain or selfish, but I want to be able to give my baby everything, including worldly things. Not saying we would be poor if I quit my job, its just that we are that much less poor with my job lol. I feel like we need to take this chance to do things we won't be able to, spoil ourselves, save, go on trips etc.
Selfish.
Maybe.
But I think there is a pinch of smartness mixed in there too.
8 comments:
now you see why patrick and I are almost at 4 years and no baby... i still get baby hungry of course but time will only tell when we'll get on that bandwagon. that's why we got a dog! :)
Trev and I have been together for 7 years and married for 3 and are just now having our first baby. Our doggy was a great transition period too, Jack Russell terriors are really active dogs so having to give her attention like she deserves makes for a good segway. I say it's smart to wait unroll you are ready to devote the time needed for children. Plus neglecting to set up your finances is just reckless, I hate when people plan on having a baby but still live off the system to get everything. Just get insurance and plan for paying the deductable it's really not that hard. Plus it you set up like 5k in retirement before you are like 25 you will be in much better shape when hard times happen in your 30s or whatever and you can't afford to put 10% into it. And you could put money into savings now for when your kids go to college or get married so you won't have to take a second mortgage and stuff. Anyway it just makes me happy to see other people are smart enough to truely plan for a baby and not just say, we'll I want it and everything will just work out.
And when it comes to the prego body; I hear ya. There are a lot of things with pregnancy/labor that always scared me but personally I'm loving it! I've been lucky enough to not have many problems, which I contribute at least largely to being/eating healthy. I just get sick when I eat bananas but I decided it is because she is allergic cuz trev was allergic when he was little. Feeling her moving around in me has been one of the most increadable feelings in the world.
I'm confused :o) I thought you were extremely baby hungry?! LOL :o) You even wrote on here when you guys were going to start trying! Whatevah! We waited 3 years until we started trying, so I understand either way. Good luck!
I'm not going to lie, I didn't read all your post...All I read was the first half and that's all I needed to know. Take it from a mother with 2 kids where the first one was a total surprise and the second was planned. Wait until you and Jason are 100% ready. You are SOOOOO NOT being selfish! I'm going to have to vote smart! Even if that means you wait another 10 years. Trust me. Having kids is the most amazing thing ever, however, once they are here, they're here to say forever. And all the time alone you enjoy with Jason will be cut to a minimum, all your spare time is not yours anymore, no more crafts, no more nothing (sorry to sound dramatic). Starting a family is a huge sacrifice. If people give you crap, tell them to have a baby of their own. I love being a mom but it's hard. Read my two previous posts and you'll see where I'm coming from. Good luck.
I say have a baby when you're ready. Who cares what other people think. We were planning on waiting at least a year before trying, but heavenly father had a different idea and we just had to ask. ha ha And people who have kids to get out of working are funny, because kids are work and a lot of it.
I hear ya on the whole waiting thing. We wanted to wait for a while so we could get our live settled but I guess god had a different plan. It just kinda happened and I would not want to trade it for anything now. I am so excited the closer i get. But I am confused also, you said a while back in a blog that you wanted kids and that the min you got a house you were going to plan the kids process. I guess everyone changes there mind. You funny, I hope you guys travel and have fun. You will need it before a baby.
Its always good to wait until you are 100% ready. Ty and I have been married for almost three years and are just now having one. I have loved our time alone first. You will know when it is time
Hey, I wanna say a couple things. You know I want you to have a baby, but just so we can have one together. ;)
I don't think anyone is every 100% ready for kids. There are plenty of reasons to not have them, and I know that money is a HUGE one, but if you start feeling like maybe it's time just pray about it. Fast, go to the temple, whatever.
I not an advocate for rushing into it. Like someone else said, once you have a baby, there's no going back. You know we waited 2 years to get pregnant. But like I said, don't wait for the "wrong" reasons. Pray about it.
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