Marriage and Parenting

Everyone gives you their advice when you are pregnant.

its like you have it written on your face that you want it.

They tell you to get sleep, when to give him solids, what to do when he cries, your body will be unrecognizable yada yada yada.

I take it all with a grain a salt and a grin.

But, my side of the family went camping a while ago, and my cousin told me something that changed the way I thought, and I have thought about it at least once a week since then.

she said,

"Having a baby changes the way you thought your relationship with your man was."

I don't know why that struck me, it just did. Its probably because throughout the pregnancy I haven't worried about the little things like changing diapers, bottle temps, baths etc. I have been concerned with the emotional side of raising a child, and creating a family.

I've heard since my early years, that having a baby does not fix marriage problems, it actually makes them worse. So Jason and I made absolute sure that he and I were on solid ground, and had been for a while, before we decided to start a family. Marriage is hard, it takes work, getting used to, and commitment. I imagine being a parent together is no different. I am grateful that Jason and I waited so long before taking this next step. We can say for sure, going into it, that we are totally in sync, in love, in understanding of each other, and are on the same page. I adore the two years we spent just us, I can not imagine getting pregnant right out of the gate, or when someones marriage is rocky, I can only imagine it would make it that much harder. I am grateful for the advice I received, it has made me more aware of what might change and how to keep things amazing, without this advice I wouldn't have even thought about it, and I think when you are aware of things and can learn before you need to, things are much better.
I know in Utah everyone is just so super excited to get married and have kids, but I will never teach my children that mindset. I, personally, think its ridiculous. People need to be ready, REALLY ready. Not just financially ready, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually ready. There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting, there is everything right with it.