I cant get rid of this negative funk I am in!
All day everyday all I can think about is 2-3 years from now, when all 3 of our children are here, I can get back into shape, and move on from the "starting a family" phase to just having a family.
helping them develop their personalities
likes
dislikes
teaching them
learning with and from them
playing with them
loving and being love by them
laughing with them
Im just not a pregnancy person, or a newborn person.
I am already tired, 1 kid in, of being the constant lively caretaker. I can handle a basic caretake of a toddler/kid, but a baby caretaker just takes sooooo much out of me. Its constant, 24/7 about another person.
Don't get me wrong, I love Henry with every fiber of my soul, and would do it all over again 100 times for him in a heartbeat, but I just can't wait for the next chapter in our familys life. Being a family.
I know we are a family, but sometimes it feels like Jason and I still, with a baby. I look forward to when they all have opinions(as frustrated as I know it might get at times).
Like when I can say:
What do you guys want for dinner?
What game should we play?
Should we go to grandmas?
I am just excited for my babies, to be people.
I love my son, more than anything, more than I ever thought possible, and I will cherish his infant year and look back with many fond memories.
Like getting up for a feeding at 4 am and snuggling him on the couch while we watch the Royal wedding.
having to keep my hand in the back seat from the front so he could suck on my pinky to sooth him.
Rocking to him sleep for his naps all the way until he was 1.
Rooting him on as a newborn when he sneezed 5 times in a row telling him he can totally make it to 6.
I will always remember these times and many more, but I just cant get past, looking forward.
Anyone else feel this way? Ever?
3 comments:
EVERY DAY! Wish I could say when they get older it gets better. Cayden is still a lot.
I know that's how Blake feels. But I cry at the thought that my child is growing too fast! I'm usually the opposite as other people. So I'm odd. You're normal
It's just like that country song "You're Gonna Miss This" the way I see it is I will miss my kids being babies/toddlers because it is a whole different kind of problems when they are older sure they dont depend on you 24/7. I have been trying to live for the day and not for the future, I get too caught up with the future that I'm not happy or living in the now and whenever I am having a rough day and wishing my kids were older I just listen to that song and it brings things back to perspective for me.
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