I have a secret.
Its not an exciting one, its more of a hidden one.
I have had this secret, problem, since I can remember. Since I was able to have it, around 16-17.
I am an addicted compulsive shopper.
I know, you may think well so am I, but its not the typical woman needs to shop sorta thing.
I have to buy something, everyday. If I don't, I get some sort of chemical reaction causing anxiety.
as a single adult it got me into a lot of credit card debt, as as a married adult its causing my husband lots of stress.
I go to the dollar store and spend $30 on stuff that I maybe use half of.
I go to the DI to justify buying stuff cause its so cheap, and then my basement is now full of DI goodness.
I buy things on clearance so Jason cant make me take them back.
I will hide stuff for 30 days so I am past the refund policy.
or I just tell him I will take something back and I don't.
its bad.
I don't think its super bad like go on a TLC addictive habits show, but its bad enough it needs to change.
Now I am not a hoarder, I can for sure say that. I have no issues getting rid of stuff, and that bugs Jason too.
I grew up moving around in the military and my mom had a cleaning theory, if you haven't used it in a year, throw it away. Since we moved all the time, we didn't want to constantly pack and unpack stuff we never used.
The only things I save that I havent used in a year are decor items I want to use some day, and fabric. I buy a LOT of fabric. If I am at a fabric store, which I go to just for fun, and I see one I love, I have to buy at least a yard of it in case when I need it, its gone.
sigh.
its bad.
its slightly embarrassing.
and its stressful, for me, my husband, and our marriage.
Everything I have read online about it says that typically to get over this "addiction" you may require therapy.
but, I don't know, its weird to me to think of it as an addiction or something that requires treatment.
I am sure that is a phrase lots of compulsive shoppers say, but its true.
It kinda seems silly to seek help for it, and I really don't understand how it would help.
So for now, on my own, I put all my credit cards and money spending things in Jason's possession. He says that makes it seem like I am a teenager that needs to have things taken away, but thats the only way I know how to not spend.
Sooo we will see how it goes.
So there you have it. Thats my secret. Sorry it wasnt something exciting like twins, but there it is.
Anyone else a compulsive shopper, or another secret?
4 comments:
we had to do that with me when we were first married. Daniel would stash twenty bucks (in fives) somewhere in case of an emergency and wouldn't tell me about it unless was an actual emergency. but other than that all I had was my id. I'm better about it now. still have problems when I do have to go to the store but I don't go as much and I've just about quit online shopping all together. YOU CAN DO IT KATI!
I love to get things, but I don't go overboard too much because I usually have tons of guilt about spending money too. Even on things that I NEED I have a hard time letting go of money. I hate it though, because its such a conflict! I want stuff, but I hate how I feel after the money is gone! One thing I would suggest for you is, if you want to deal with this on your own, is to try to replace it with something else that's constructive. That's one thing that really helps people overcome "addictions". lol. You need something to fill that time, so when you're having an impulse to go shopping you can redirect that energy somewhere else. Good luck! I totally have an obsessive compulsive personality, so I feel you :)
I've never gotten to the point you are at, but whenever I'm feeling down or having a hard day I LOVE to spend money. Online shopping is what gets me into trouble. It is so easy to look at things on the internet, see everything you want, and then think to yourself "That's a good deal and I want now it!" Sometimes it is good for the hubby to take away the cards and the cash. Deep breaths. It'll all be okay!
Do you listen to 1019? Once a week they have a clinical psychologist on. He has a website, http://askdrmatt.com/, and you can email him from there. Maybe see if he thinks your situation is something that might improve faster with an outside, unbiased listener.
Best of luck! On a lighter/more selfish note, let me know if you have a yard sale. (:
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