Don't leave me.

So I have this idea of how friendships are, how they evolve and even how they dissipate.

but lately some friendships aren't happening the way I want, and I am gonna tell you all about it. :) Tell me if my views on friendship are warped.

So I have this friend, who I have known for a couple years. She and I were in a close group of friends in the ward. We all used to hang out like every weekend. Inside jokes, laugh, pick up guys, cry together, take a million pictures together etc.

Then most of us got married.

I understand that marriage changes friendships, and for the most part we all adapted. Except this one friend just like fell off the face of the earth. She is one of those people where you have to make the attempt to be her friend, and even then its a 70% chance she won't reciprocate for whatever reason. We have all learned this, and most of us have moved on from it. Except for me. I feel like its just not ok how things have unfolded with her, and I want it to be different. I don't know how to make it different. The thing about her, is that all she has wanted in life is a husband and a baby, to validate her existence. I am sad, and scared for her that once her baby comes(She is due in sept) she will realize that she needs friends and will feel very alone. So, I want to keep the lines of communication between her and I open, but I am 89% sure it won't matter.

Now, the rest of my friends. :) Whom I love dearly. Rock. When you are single, your friends are your life and omg what would you do without them right? Well I have learned that once you get married, your husband is your life, and your friends are important. It is fun to talk to each other about our similar experiences and frustrations, and to see that you are not alone. I worry though, that we are not close enough. I mean really, when you are single you talk to your friends ALL the time about everything. and when you get married obviously things change and all you have time for is a once a month dinner, maybe. I get that, but I still want to be close friends that we can tell anything to. I don't want it to be like the movie Now and Then where we meet up 10 years later and update each other on our lives.

The other type of friends I now have and adore are the ones I inherited through marriage. Jason is a shy person, and as such doesn't have a million bajillions friends I have to try and remember their names, he has a few good friends that have incredibly awesome wives. Jason laughs because I talk to their wives more than he talks to his friend. And when we get together, its always the wives that plan it. :) I really adore these friends, and consider them friends, not just my husbands friends wives.

One day I would like to have a dinner party, and invite 6 of our "couple" friends to meet each other, because really I think they would all hit it off. But really, my biggest fear is probably planning something like that, putting time, effort and heart into, and then no one showing up. :( So it might just stay an idea. :(

So friends, I just have one thing to say to you.

Don't leave me. :)