concrete jungle where dreams are made of...

I've decided to go with Jason to New York. CRAZY!!!

my sister and her little family are going to live in our house for us while we are gone, and Jason's work is going to put us up in an apartment in Battery Park. 

I am soooo nervous I can't even tell you. 

mostly I am nervous about all things having to do with Henry. Getting him to adjust, feel comfortable, sleep well, THE PLANE, etc. 

Now that I have that decision made, I have a whole different one that I wasn't expecting. 

For some stupid reason we started talking about what our (hopefully)3rd boy would be named and in that process we became unsure of the what we want to name this boy. 

The choices are:

Charlie James Powell

OR

Harvey James Powell

sooo there ya go. I can't decide. I am stuck on Charlie cause thats what we've been calling him, but more and more and I starting to love the name Harvey. 

And before you say it, I know Henry and Harvey are somewhat similar, but its not enough that it bothers me. So thats not a factor I care about. :)

Your opinion is appreciated, but I am afraid this may be a case where we go to the hospital with 2 names and have to pick one, which soooo drives me crazy. I wanna know now and I just can't feel it. 

to go or not to go

dialogue with me here. 

I need thoughts, feedback etc.
 

Jason is switching positions at work which is going to require him to do some training in new york, for 8-12 WEEKS.  

I have the option to go(with Henry of course) but I am still on the fence about it. 

PROS

New york would be awesome

no time away from Jason

get to see some of Jason's family

get to see sights, etc. 

CONS

a 5 hour flight with a 1 year old, twice.

being pregnant, having to see a different dr while there

possibly go into labor there(We would be done around 38 weeks)

being cooped up in an apartment(provided by his work) with Henry all day

not knowing anyone

getting Henry to adjust to sleeping there

Having to buy certain things just while we are there, high chair, glider, etc. 

So I know there are more cons, but the pros have heavier weight than the cons. But the one that keeps me on the fence is going into labor. I love, adore, and trust my Dr here so much I would be so scared and worried if I had to have the baby there. we would be there from 30-38 weeks so I know the odds aren't high, but they aren't extremely low either. 

So there ya go. I need input, feedback etc to bounce around in my head. ready, go. 

love them

I had another moment, you know, a motherhood is great moment. 

I was feeding Henry his bedtime bottle, and singing the latest chosen song I sing to him, My Own Story from My Turn On Earth. 

He finished his bottle a verse early, but I decided to finish the song anyway, so we just stared at each other while I sang. 

And the last few words to the song are" A wonderful story of sadness and glory was written by Jesus and Me."

And it hit me, Henry is writing his own story with our heavenly father. I have been here thinking this is my journey in motherhood, teaching him the gospel etc, but he is his own spirit, that needs to have his own relationship with Heavenly Father. Its as if I thought Henry knows about Heavenly Father THROUGH my relationship with him, but thats completely wrong. He knows Heavenly Father I am sure better than I do. He's amazing, his spirit is so strong and so present in our home. 

I was born to be his mom, and I feel like he is constantly teaching me how to be Charlie's mom, too. 

ah. I love my kids. 

They are who I am. 

lately

Well hello bloggity blog blog bloggers. 

Life here has been lovely lately, and like others, this post will probably be pretty random. 

Starting with Henry's sleeping. The kid is nuts. When he gets sick he doesnt sleep well, and after he gets better it takes a long time for his sleeping to follow. So he is waking up twice a night. Ugh. The good news, his napping is AWESOME because of it. I am talking like 5-6 hours a day. I realize that if he takes shorter naps, he might sleep better at night, but boy do I love MY long naps. 

The pregnancy. For the last month or so I have hardly noticed I am even pregnant. I am not gaining much weight(2 lbs total) my clothes(ie yoga pants and t shirts) still fit the same, and the tiredness is gone. 

The baby. His name will be Charlie James. He is already a little stinker, I really wanted to see his profile and see if it looked like Henry's, but he refused to give us a peek. I guess he wants to surprise us. 

His nursery. Thanks to my hubby, it will be started shortly. His room was our office, and in order to move the office, we had to clean the basement room which is our junk room and I was not seeing the motivation to do that. So my hubby on one of his days off cleaned the whole room, and moved the office. So now Charlie's room is ready for paint! I am pretty excited about it, its the first room I will decorate since discovering Pinterest. :D

Henry's development. He is a crawling pro, and knows exactly how to walk, but still prefers to crawl. He hasn't figured out yet that walking is faster. 

Weeeeell thats it folks. sorry so boring. 

what happened.

Monday I was really sick, which was fine cause I have been sick for a couple weeks. 

After we put Henry to bed, I went to our room to lay down, and my stomach started hurting. It wasn't where the baby was, but it still didn't feel ok. after a while it started to be really painful, and it was every 3-5 mins. When I realized the pain was coming and going in a timed pattern, I got really scared I was going into early labor. I'm only 17 weeks. So I finally told Jason around 9 pm I thought we should go to the ER. 

My neighbor came over and stayed with Henry til my mom could get there, and we left. 

first, can I just say I freaking HATE going to the ER. I swear, for a place titled EMERGENCY, they are sooo slow. anyway, They actually didn't seem too worried about what was going on, they did a complete ultra sound and the baby was totally fine. Oh, and we found out that its another boy. :) After that they put an IV in and gave me a ton of fluids. 

Then the Dr came in and told us that I was dehydrated, with a severe bladder infection and a urinary tract infection. The Dr said with that combo, it can FEEL like early labor. So they gave me antibiotics, and at 1 am we went home HOPING to get sleep before Henry wakes up at 6 am. 

Well for me that didn't go so well. The infections gave me a fever, and the chills, and I do not do well with the chills, at all. I HATE being cold and hot at the same time and when I am sick, I practically live in the bath tub. I took about 10 baths from 1 am to 6 am. got no sleep. I think Jason slept the whole time, I am not sure. after Henry's first nap we went to my mom's who graciously took care of Henry while I took more baths in her jetted tub and Jason took a long nap. I spent the afternoon taking more baths, and wrapped in a blanket by the fire trying to resist the urge to get in the bath, again. 

I didn't eat, or drink, all day. I couldn't. It was awful, I felt so sick I couldn't even stomach water. I finally was able to drink a smoothie. 

When we got home we gave Henry a bath and then put him to bed. That is when heaven started for me. I immediately took tylenol PM and layed in bed. I thought I was watching TV with Jason, but I actually fell asleep instantly. I remember waking up once to my mom calling to check on me, and once to the doorbell who was my neighbor bringing me flowers(so sweet). Other than that, the whole night it a total heavenly blur. My fever broke around 8 pm I think, so I was completely comfortable and totally zonked out. Henry didn't wake up to eat until 4 am, and then slept in until 7 am. I got so much needed sleep it was amazing. I feel 100 times better today than I did yesterday. 

So all in all, everyone is ok and doing much better. 

and on the plus side, we are SOOOO excited that our baby is another boy. I really wanted Henry to get a brother and I am soooo excited for him to get here and see how they interact. People think I wanted a girl, cause I already had a boy, but honestly, I want all boys now. seriously. and I am only having 3 kids, so only one more boy to go! 

Thanks every one who helped and said nice things to me. I have the best family and circle of friends. 

oh theres a difference

I don't love being a mom. 

but I love having a kid. 

Total difference, right? 

I HATE changing diapers, making bottles, cleaning up toys, etc. 

but I looooove having Henry. I love his noises, his personality, how much he learns and grows, his big grin, how much he loves me, his laugh, his little cheeks and bum cheeks, his sneezes, his thinking face, how he wont swallow food cause he just wants to suck the flavor out, and so so so much more about my little dude. 

I love watching him sleep on the monitor, I love his tiny sleeping baby body. 

sigh, being a mom is not fun, but having a kid, that totally rocks all. 

Am I the only one?

I am a fruit snob, and I must know, am I the only one?

Let me explain. I loooove fruit. absolutely adore it. But I am really picky about how I will eat fruit. Take grapes for example. I only buy bags where the grapes are small and really dark in color. They taste sweeter to me. Then, I get them home, rinse them through the bag the came in. Normal, right? THEN, I get my own ziploc bag, pull out the vine bunches and put them in the new bag. I do not, transfer the little grapes at the bottom of the store bag. To me those are bad. I don't eat them. Snobby?

And strawberries. I only buy big juicy red ones, preferably from Costco. I inspect the whole box, if I see one that is bruised or bad, I find a new box. I get them home, and rinse them. Normal, right? THEN, I cut the tops off them all, and by tops I mean starting where strawberries turn white, then I put them in a bowl with a lid. Snobby?

I really could go on. Like bananas, I wont eat the top or bottom. Apples have to be cored and sliced, like really cored not just cutting the trunk out. so I usually only buy pre-sliced apples cause I am too lazy to do that. 

Snobby?

Is it just me???? 

lovely

Today was a good day. 

for very simple reasons.

Henry makes me smile, and have joy

he has pure joy

from goldfish crackers, Superwhy, being outside, his blanket, his dad, and much more

he is such an example to me of always having joy

my joyful moment today came during nap time

I turned off his lights, wrapped him in his blanket, fed him, and started singing to him like I always do

but this time I took time to notice him

he loves cuddling with me

he doesnt fight naps at all

he loves that time with me

I know he does because sometimes he will turn up at me and say,"bob bob bob bah bo bob" which is Henry language for I'm happy. 

I smile, and continue singing to him as he is staring right at me, and smiling. 

I love these moments as a mom

Now when he woke up from said nap and puked,

that I don't love so much. 

blah blah blah

This post is a whole bunch of random. 

I have been sick all week with a cold. When I get sick, I am out like trout. I fall hard. I feel like I am dying. 

Its quite pathetic actually. 

So far there are no signs that Henry has gotten it, which would be a total shocker and a welcomed surprise. 

Speaking of Henry, he has discovered that he looooves the show Superwhy!. We watch it about 4 times a day. A part of me feels like a lame mom for letting him watch so much tv, but there is nothing to do in the winter with a baby, and his toys are only fun for so long. I can't wait for summer, to go on walks, play at the park, get a swing set in the backyard. ah. I am beginning to realize how much of a summer girl I really am. 

My small and simple things goal is totally working, and I love it. I have had that mantra in mind all month and it is totally helping to keep my house under control, a little bit at a time. 

The pregnancy is going fine, still having trouble eating and drinking enough. I haven't gained any weight, which is good for me. We should find out the gender at the end of February. 

I can not get enough sleep these days, and I am sure Jason feels like a widower when he comes home. Shortly after Henry goes to bed, which is around 7, I go to bed, too. But I just can't help it! I am still so tired! Henry slept through the night for about two months, but now he is feeding again in the middle of the night. grrrr. Its the weekend so maybe with Jason's help we will work on dropping the feeding. 

I started reading the parenting book Love and Logic, and I looooove it. I love it most because it tells me how to instill my parenting skills with Henry NOW. They say babies are never too young to learn logic, even if they can't communicate. Its a very flexible adaptable style of parenting, while being structured at the same time. It seems like it is very time consuming to act out the plan, but in the long run should save time on tantrums and other issues. We shall see. 

Anyway, Superwhy is over, guess that's my que. 

Do you play wordfued? won't you play with me?

he thinks I am awesome

Henry has become a needy momma's boy. 

I posted a status a while ago asking my friends how to resolve this issue and I was surprised to learn that most of my friends dont care if their care are needy of their moms, which IS TOTALLY OK. I am not judging.

Just saying, I am soooo not that kind of personality. 

I can't have him be so needy of me all the time to the point that I get stressed thinking about leaving him with someone else. 

So, with no advice from anyone I decided to try my own ideas. 

my first try is the daycare at my gym. After a horrible experience at south davis rec and their daycare, I switched gyms to Skills Fitness and so far I kinda love it. Their daycare is much nicer, less kids there, and the employees are young female adults compared to moms. I know what you are thinking, wouldnt I want moms in there working instead? Thats what I thought, but the rec center had moms as the employees and I realized that moms are really good at ignoring kids, and not taking crying very seriously. Young single women still think kids are adorable and enjoy playing with them. 

So we have gone twice, the first time was fabulous and he loved it, the second time he was crying after 30 mins, BUT he hadnt had an afternoon nap, so I will chalk that up to tiredness and crankiness. 

But so far its good, the daycare has big windows that you can see in if you are in the gym, but the people inside the daycare cant see you. So I can check on Henry whenever I was without him seeing me, and I can see if I like the employees and how they do with Henry and the other kids. 

Its good, Henry seems to like watching the big kids play, and its getting him used to me not being around. 

Last night I also went to a body pump class at the gym, and left Henry with Jason and Jason put him to bed, which I think was also good for Henry not to rely on me  in order to go to sleep at night. 

so I am trying. 

I refuse to let the neediness continue, especially since baby #2 will be here before you know it and I can't devote every minute to Henry. 

Wish me luck!

blerg

I have no motivation to blog. 

sorry. 

blah. 

maybe its the lack of others blogging, or the lack of communication taking place these days via blogs, but blogging just doesnt seem like it used it. 

maybe we are all stuck on Pinterest. 

either way. 

I am good. 

Henrys good

Babys good

Jasons good.

the end. 

Official

My goal for this year is a mindset. 

By small and simple things. 

I get so frustrated and depressed if I cant completely deep clean my house as often as I used to. I used to spend around 2-3 hours just cleaning. clearly, I dont have that kind of time, and it upsets me. 

but I had a moment the other day where I really took to heart the phrase by small and simple things. 

Maybe I cant clean the entire kitchen in one shot, but I can at least do the dishes. or throw the garbage away. 

then the next time I have a moment I can do more small things, and hopefully accomplish something large. 

Its worked really well so far. 

and today when I was cleaning I was in the groove, so it made me extra motivated to make it possible for me to clean more, so I cleaned my room, Henry's room and the hallway, and trapped him in between so he could crawl back and forth, and he loved it. I was able to hang clothes up, clean off surfaces, etc. Way more than I would have been able to do. 

So yeah. 

Thats my goal. 

Gotta write goals down, ya know. 

Christmas short and sweet

Christmas

Every Christmas I realize and learn things that make Christmas day more stressful, and that I say I won't do next year. 

I am this close to cornering down the perfect Christmas routine. 

Yes, a Christmas routine.

However, this Christmas fell on Sunday, which ironically completely screwed up my routine. 

My family always does Christmas in the morning, and around 2ish we leave for Jason's family until the evening. 

But this year Everyone wanted to do Christmas at noon, so they could go to the 11 o clock church meeting. 

eff. 

so it got a little sticky, Henry didn't get his second nap making for a very cranky afternoon and a tired mom by the end of it. 

But, Christmas was perfect. 

I can't say it was fun having Henry, cause he didn't care, but I am sure next year will be more fun. 

There will be 2 kids! yikes. 

yummy

So my tablet of food I can tolerate has expanded slightly. 

 I can have and keep down:

Steak

Sushi

Ice Cream

Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup

Cheetos

Gumballs

Clementines 

Grapes

Orange Juice(Which I have ALWAYS hated)

Popcorn

Pizza

So that is what I eat on a rotating basis, and boy when those sushi and steak days come around I am in heaven. 

only 3. yep 3.

So today, while bathing, I came to a realization about my family. 

some background:

I wanted 3 or 5 kids, because 4 was too cliche. 

Jason wants 4. 

But today, I decided for sure, I only want 3. 

I had this notion is my head that in order to be a big close family, I had to have at least 4 kids, like my family growing up. 

But, I have learned a lot from observing other families, and that's this: The families that had more kids, generally were a little more out of control, and weren't as close as I though, and the mom was stressed to the max. 

The families with 3 or less, seemed like the mom had more time to devote to each child as an individual, and that because they were smaller families, they seemed to be a little closer. 

See, having 3 kids has always felt right to my soul, but to my mind I always said oh no that's not enough. 

As my usual disclosure goes, I know my thoughts, and feelings can always change. 

  But for now, thats my feeling. 

So, 1 child down, 1 in the oven, only 1 more left!