You are my google part 2

THANK YOU!!!

seriously, thank you guys for your "novels." I will be bookmarking that post so I can go over your comments over and over when Charlie comes. 

BUT, I do have 1 HUGE concern based on what you all said.

Everyone pretty much said the same thing, that a feeding takes anywhere from 20-60 minutes at a time at first. How in the world am I supposed to accomplish that while taking care of Henry?

Is that why moms have these snuggy long fabric wrap things?

Cause seriously, Henry's not a bad baby, but hes very energetic and always on the go and into something, so there is no way I sit somewhere from 40 minutes to feed baby, then pumping on top of that?!

Seriously, I am getting anxiety over it. 

I know some of you wont know what to say, cause you're like me with just 1 kid, but some of you have two and BF both, SO TELL ME HOW IT WORKS!!!

And seriously, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your "TMI comments" :) They were exactly what I was looking for. 

you are my google

I didnt breastfeed Henry, and honestly I had no desire to. Furthermore with the issues he had it wouldnt have been for long anyway. 

But assuming Charlie won't have those issues, I REALLY wanna breast feed him. 

Reasons aside, it doesnt matter, but I am determined to for at least 8 weeks. 

BUT, I have no idea where to start. 

When I had Henry, a lactation consultant came to our room to try and help me, and I found it quite the opposite. 

So I, like always, am turning to you, my faithful loyal blog readers. 

You guys have never steered me wrong in the past, so help me out again. 

First, I know there are breastfeeding classes and things like to help, so if its your opinion that those classes are all I need, then you can just say that. 

If you think theres a lot more to it than a class teaches, help me out. 

here are my biggest worries or concerns:

How do I know when he has had enough

when do I know to switch sides

how long does it take to thaw and warm up a frozen one(for Jason to feed at night)

does breastfeeding really make them not sleep as great

do you leak all the time

tips and tricks for teaching baby how to first latch(that was my problem with Henry)

boppy pillow, necessary?   

I am sure I have more questions, those are just all I can think of right now. 

:) Thanks, Ladies. 

humph.

I cant get rid of this negative funk I am in! 

All day everyday all I can think about is 2-3 years from now, when all 3 of our children are here, I can get back into shape, and move on from the "starting a family" phase to just having a family. 

helping them develop their personalities

likes

dislikes

teaching them

learning with and from them

playing with them

loving and being love by them

laughing with them

Im just not a pregnancy person, or a newborn person.

I am already tired, 1 kid in, of being the constant lively caretaker. I can handle a basic caretake of a toddler/kid, but a baby caretaker just takes sooooo much out of me. Its constant, 24/7 about another person.

Don't get me wrong, I love Henry with every fiber of my soul, and would do it all over again 100 times for him in a heartbeat, but I just can't wait for the next chapter in our familys life. Being a family. 

I know we are a family, but sometimes it feels like Jason and I still, with a baby. I look forward to when they all have opinions(as frustrated as I know it might get at times). 

Like when I can say:

What do you guys want for dinner?

What game should we play?

Should we go to grandmas?

I am just excited for my babies, to be people. 

I love my son, more than anything, more than I ever thought possible, and I will cherish his infant year and look back with many fond memories. 

Like getting up for a feeding at 4 am and snuggling him on the couch while we watch the Royal wedding. 

having to keep my hand in the back seat from the front so he could suck on my pinky to sooth him.

Rocking to him sleep for his naps all the way until he was 1. 

Rooting him on as a newborn when he sneezed 5 times in a row telling him he can totally make it to 6.

I will always remember these times and many more, but I just cant get past, looking forward. 

Anyone else feel this way? Ever? 

its a vicious cycle

Allow me to vent for a minute. 

I am tired of being pregnant. 

and not just this pregnancy, the next one. 

I am already tired of being pregnant with the next baby. 

I just want my family here, to have my body back, get back into shape, wear all my old and new pretty clothes, feel great, be able to run around with my kids, and just not be pregnant. 

does anyone else feel this way?

I get so much motivation to eat right and work out, and even do it, but its such a frustrating mental game in my head that I can do it all and still be fat(pregnant) and not only not see results, but know that I wont for a very long time. 

Its so depressing and half the time I just think what in the frick is the point. 

it makes me wanna cry, do better, yell, give up, try harder and all of that just makes me a complete basket case. 

With my recent coming to terms of my shopping addiction its made this issue even worse. 

When I lost 50 lbs 3 years ago, I switched from eating for fun and destress, to shopping. Now that I need to gain control of my shopping, I naturally wanna return to eating for fun and destressing. 

I am just frustrated. 

overwhelmed. 

depressed, 

no light at the end of the tunnel.

doomed to be fat. 

I could cry, but I know that won't help. and I am getting to the point in this pregnancy that exercise is painful and uncomfortable. 

LUCKILY I havent gained very much this pregnancy, and not even a quarter of what I gained with Henry, so I do have a slimmer of hope that I will bounce back after Charlie comes. 

I am sorry this is such a negative post, but seriously, am I the only one that feels this way?

My name is Kati and...

 I have a secret. 

Its not an exciting one, its more of a hidden one. 

I have had this secret, problem, since I can remember. Since I was able to have it, around 16-17. 

I am an addicted compulsive shopper. 

I know, you may think well so am I, but its not the typical woman needs to shop sorta thing. 

I have to buy something, everyday. If I don't, I get some sort of chemical reaction causing anxiety. 

as a single adult it got me into a lot of credit card debt, as as a married adult its causing my husband lots of stress. 

I go to the dollar store and spend $30 on stuff that I maybe use half of. 

I go to the DI to justify buying stuff cause its so cheap, and then my basement is now full of DI goodness. 

I buy things on clearance so Jason cant make me take them back. 

I will hide stuff for 30 days so I am past the refund policy. 

or I just tell him I will take something back and I don't. 

its bad. 

I don't think its super bad like go on a TLC addictive habits show, but its bad enough it needs to change. 

Now I am not a hoarder, I can for sure say that. I have no issues getting rid of stuff, and that bugs Jason too. 

I grew up moving around in the military and my mom had a cleaning theory, if you haven't used it in a year, throw it away. Since we moved all the time, we didn't want to constantly pack and unpack stuff we never used. 

The only things I save that I havent used in a year are decor items I want to use some day, and fabric. I buy a LOT of fabric. If I am at a fabric store, which I go to just for fun, and I see one I love, I have to buy at least a yard of it in case when I need it, its gone. 

sigh. 

its bad. 

its slightly embarrassing.

and its stressful, for me, my husband, and our marriage. 

Everything I have read online about it says that typically to get over this "addiction" you may require therapy. 

but, I don't know, its weird to me to think of it as an addiction or something that requires treatment. 

I am sure that is a phrase lots of compulsive shoppers say, but its true. 

It kinda seems silly to seek help for it, and I really don't understand how it would help. 

So for now, on my own, I put all my credit cards and money spending things in Jason's possession. He says that makes it seem like I am a teenager that needs to have things taken away, but thats the only way I know how to not spend. 

Sooo we will see how it goes. 

So there you have it. Thats my secret. Sorry it wasnt something exciting like twins, but there it is. 

Anyone else a compulsive shopper, or another secret?

1 year older

Soooo.....

This little dude.

is turning 1!

Sometimes it blows my mind that he is already 1, and then other times it feels like he should be leaving for college already. 

He certainly has done a total 180 since his newborn days. I remember for the first like 2 months all he did was scream and scream. It was torture. Luckily I had a few good friends to give me good advice and help me through it. Thanks to those of you. :)

These days, this kid is rarely anything short of happy. He is constantly smiling, laughing, babbling, and flirting. He flirts with alllllll females. He is the most well behaved baby ever when we go to the store. He never makes a peep and just looks around. Sometimes he babbles to me and I babble back. I love it. he loves to suck on food, and then spit it out. That is getting kind of frustrating. 

At any rate, I am excited to have a big party for him. 

To kick off his birthday we bought him a swing set. 

:)

I never had one growing up, so I was excited when it finally arrived. 

Here are some pictures of his first go around on the swing set. 

 

So basically it makes for 1 happy kid, and I am HOPING it will soon start to make for a tired kid that will take a longer nap. :/ Currently he is on 1 nap a day, but its only 2-2.5 hours. :(

Happy Birthday week to my little man! Can't wait for saturday. 

Birthday party post to come after. :D

motherhood

Sometimes through out the day, I need little pick me ups, and the best pick me ups lately for me, have come from lds quotes on Mothers. I often here of church leaders talking about how "important motherhood is" but I always assumed they were just telling us that so we didnt feel ignored. These quotes certainly drive home the point of importance the role of motherhood has. One of my favorites is when one says She is a co-partner with God. That, is amazing. When I was pregnant with Henry I certainly felt like a co partner with God, costantly. Then when he was born I guess I assumed I was all on my own now, but its certainly not the case. So here are some of my favorites for you, in case you need a pick me up. :)

Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels -Conference Report, Oct. 1942, pp. 12–13

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.

She is a co-partner with God in bringing His spirit children into the world. What a glorious concept! No greater honor could be given. With this honor comes the tremendous responsibility of living and caring for those children so they might learn their duty as citizens and what they must do to return to their Heavenly Father... A mother has far greater influence on her children than anyone else has, and she must realize that every word she speaks, every act, every response, her attitude, even her appearance and manner of dress, affect the lives of her children and the whole family.

--President N. Eldon Tanner

President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted within women something divine.” That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.” Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. declared, motherhood is “as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.”

--Sister Sheri Dew

One cannot forget mother and remember God. One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one. 

--Thomas S. Monson

Sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. 

the simple life

 

Spring has sprung, technically, and so had a simpler way of life. 

Its hard to explain the spark of simplicity that has been ignited in me, other than I KNOW I like living simple. I've done it before, recently, and my days are so much more enjoyable and fulfilling when I live simple. 

meaning not living off my DVR, not checking my phone or FB every 5 minutes, not trying to spoil Henry with all the toys in the world so it takes pressure off me to entertain him, not going to the store or running meaningless errands just to get out of the house. 

a day I don't get in my car, check my phone once, never turn on my TV, and play on the ground or outside with my little blessing of a son, is a great, fantastic day. 

I am glad winter has almost vanished, and I can get back to a simpler way of life. It seems like its harder to do that during winter. 

I am excited, and I am excited for what it will do for myself, and my family. 

I became a mom on April 7th,  but I feel like I REALLY became a mom lately, since Henry's personality has come out more and its more evident that he is a person, and a person that is my responsibility in everything.   

Tomorrow, with a fantastic forecast of 58 degrees, is the beginning of it all. 

Oh, and on Monday, Henry and I are going to a mommy and me type class. 

super stoked. 

concrete jungle where dreams are made of...

I've decided to go with Jason to New York. CRAZY!!!

my sister and her little family are going to live in our house for us while we are gone, and Jason's work is going to put us up in an apartment in Battery Park. 

I am soooo nervous I can't even tell you. 

mostly I am nervous about all things having to do with Henry. Getting him to adjust, feel comfortable, sleep well, THE PLANE, etc. 

Now that I have that decision made, I have a whole different one that I wasn't expecting. 

For some stupid reason we started talking about what our (hopefully)3rd boy would be named and in that process we became unsure of the what we want to name this boy. 

The choices are:

Charlie James Powell

OR

Harvey James Powell

sooo there ya go. I can't decide. I am stuck on Charlie cause thats what we've been calling him, but more and more and I starting to love the name Harvey. 

And before you say it, I know Henry and Harvey are somewhat similar, but its not enough that it bothers me. So thats not a factor I care about. :)

Your opinion is appreciated, but I am afraid this may be a case where we go to the hospital with 2 names and have to pick one, which soooo drives me crazy. I wanna know now and I just can't feel it. 

to go or not to go

dialogue with me here. 

I need thoughts, feedback etc.
 

Jason is switching positions at work which is going to require him to do some training in new york, for 8-12 WEEKS.  

I have the option to go(with Henry of course) but I am still on the fence about it. 

PROS

New york would be awesome

no time away from Jason

get to see some of Jason's family

get to see sights, etc. 

CONS

a 5 hour flight with a 1 year old, twice.

being pregnant, having to see a different dr while there

possibly go into labor there(We would be done around 38 weeks)

being cooped up in an apartment(provided by his work) with Henry all day

not knowing anyone

getting Henry to adjust to sleeping there

Having to buy certain things just while we are there, high chair, glider, etc. 

So I know there are more cons, but the pros have heavier weight than the cons. But the one that keeps me on the fence is going into labor. I love, adore, and trust my Dr here so much I would be so scared and worried if I had to have the baby there. we would be there from 30-38 weeks so I know the odds aren't high, but they aren't extremely low either. 

So there ya go. I need input, feedback etc to bounce around in my head. ready, go. 

love them

I had another moment, you know, a motherhood is great moment. 

I was feeding Henry his bedtime bottle, and singing the latest chosen song I sing to him, My Own Story from My Turn On Earth. 

He finished his bottle a verse early, but I decided to finish the song anyway, so we just stared at each other while I sang. 

And the last few words to the song are" A wonderful story of sadness and glory was written by Jesus and Me."

And it hit me, Henry is writing his own story with our heavenly father. I have been here thinking this is my journey in motherhood, teaching him the gospel etc, but he is his own spirit, that needs to have his own relationship with Heavenly Father. Its as if I thought Henry knows about Heavenly Father THROUGH my relationship with him, but thats completely wrong. He knows Heavenly Father I am sure better than I do. He's amazing, his spirit is so strong and so present in our home. 

I was born to be his mom, and I feel like he is constantly teaching me how to be Charlie's mom, too. 

ah. I love my kids. 

They are who I am. 

lately

Well hello bloggity blog blog bloggers. 

Life here has been lovely lately, and like others, this post will probably be pretty random. 

Starting with Henry's sleeping. The kid is nuts. When he gets sick he doesnt sleep well, and after he gets better it takes a long time for his sleeping to follow. So he is waking up twice a night. Ugh. The good news, his napping is AWESOME because of it. I am talking like 5-6 hours a day. I realize that if he takes shorter naps, he might sleep better at night, but boy do I love MY long naps. 

The pregnancy. For the last month or so I have hardly noticed I am even pregnant. I am not gaining much weight(2 lbs total) my clothes(ie yoga pants and t shirts) still fit the same, and the tiredness is gone. 

The baby. His name will be Charlie James. He is already a little stinker, I really wanted to see his profile and see if it looked like Henry's, but he refused to give us a peek. I guess he wants to surprise us. 

His nursery. Thanks to my hubby, it will be started shortly. His room was our office, and in order to move the office, we had to clean the basement room which is our junk room and I was not seeing the motivation to do that. So my hubby on one of his days off cleaned the whole room, and moved the office. So now Charlie's room is ready for paint! I am pretty excited about it, its the first room I will decorate since discovering Pinterest. :D

Henry's development. He is a crawling pro, and knows exactly how to walk, but still prefers to crawl. He hasn't figured out yet that walking is faster. 

Weeeeell thats it folks. sorry so boring. 

what happened.

Monday I was really sick, which was fine cause I have been sick for a couple weeks. 

After we put Henry to bed, I went to our room to lay down, and my stomach started hurting. It wasn't where the baby was, but it still didn't feel ok. after a while it started to be really painful, and it was every 3-5 mins. When I realized the pain was coming and going in a timed pattern, I got really scared I was going into early labor. I'm only 17 weeks. So I finally told Jason around 9 pm I thought we should go to the ER. 

My neighbor came over and stayed with Henry til my mom could get there, and we left. 

first, can I just say I freaking HATE going to the ER. I swear, for a place titled EMERGENCY, they are sooo slow. anyway, They actually didn't seem too worried about what was going on, they did a complete ultra sound and the baby was totally fine. Oh, and we found out that its another boy. :) After that they put an IV in and gave me a ton of fluids. 

Then the Dr came in and told us that I was dehydrated, with a severe bladder infection and a urinary tract infection. The Dr said with that combo, it can FEEL like early labor. So they gave me antibiotics, and at 1 am we went home HOPING to get sleep before Henry wakes up at 6 am. 

Well for me that didn't go so well. The infections gave me a fever, and the chills, and I do not do well with the chills, at all. I HATE being cold and hot at the same time and when I am sick, I practically live in the bath tub. I took about 10 baths from 1 am to 6 am. got no sleep. I think Jason slept the whole time, I am not sure. after Henry's first nap we went to my mom's who graciously took care of Henry while I took more baths in her jetted tub and Jason took a long nap. I spent the afternoon taking more baths, and wrapped in a blanket by the fire trying to resist the urge to get in the bath, again. 

I didn't eat, or drink, all day. I couldn't. It was awful, I felt so sick I couldn't even stomach water. I finally was able to drink a smoothie. 

When we got home we gave Henry a bath and then put him to bed. That is when heaven started for me. I immediately took tylenol PM and layed in bed. I thought I was watching TV with Jason, but I actually fell asleep instantly. I remember waking up once to my mom calling to check on me, and once to the doorbell who was my neighbor bringing me flowers(so sweet). Other than that, the whole night it a total heavenly blur. My fever broke around 8 pm I think, so I was completely comfortable and totally zonked out. Henry didn't wake up to eat until 4 am, and then slept in until 7 am. I got so much needed sleep it was amazing. I feel 100 times better today than I did yesterday. 

So all in all, everyone is ok and doing much better. 

and on the plus side, we are SOOOO excited that our baby is another boy. I really wanted Henry to get a brother and I am soooo excited for him to get here and see how they interact. People think I wanted a girl, cause I already had a boy, but honestly, I want all boys now. seriously. and I am only having 3 kids, so only one more boy to go! 

Thanks every one who helped and said nice things to me. I have the best family and circle of friends. 

oh theres a difference

I don't love being a mom. 

but I love having a kid. 

Total difference, right? 

I HATE changing diapers, making bottles, cleaning up toys, etc. 

but I looooove having Henry. I love his noises, his personality, how much he learns and grows, his big grin, how much he loves me, his laugh, his little cheeks and bum cheeks, his sneezes, his thinking face, how he wont swallow food cause he just wants to suck the flavor out, and so so so much more about my little dude. 

I love watching him sleep on the monitor, I love his tiny sleeping baby body. 

sigh, being a mom is not fun, but having a kid, that totally rocks all. 

Am I the only one?

I am a fruit snob, and I must know, am I the only one?

Let me explain. I loooove fruit. absolutely adore it. But I am really picky about how I will eat fruit. Take grapes for example. I only buy bags where the grapes are small and really dark in color. They taste sweeter to me. Then, I get them home, rinse them through the bag the came in. Normal, right? THEN, I get my own ziploc bag, pull out the vine bunches and put them in the new bag. I do not, transfer the little grapes at the bottom of the store bag. To me those are bad. I don't eat them. Snobby?

And strawberries. I only buy big juicy red ones, preferably from Costco. I inspect the whole box, if I see one that is bruised or bad, I find a new box. I get them home, and rinse them. Normal, right? THEN, I cut the tops off them all, and by tops I mean starting where strawberries turn white, then I put them in a bowl with a lid. Snobby?

I really could go on. Like bananas, I wont eat the top or bottom. Apples have to be cored and sliced, like really cored not just cutting the trunk out. so I usually only buy pre-sliced apples cause I am too lazy to do that. 

Snobby?

Is it just me????